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Your weird and wonderful sexual hang-ups unravelled.

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Hi Kathryn, A year ago my friend introduced me to the joys of using Craig's List to hook up with strangers for anonymous sex. The first few times I met up with someone were fun (although a bit surreal). However I've started to feel really seedy and dirty about my hook-ups and am sick of having to keep it secret from my friends and colleagues. Is it time to give it up or do you think it's OK?

Wooah lady! Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don’t think it is ok.

Every personals site, whether for one-night shenanigans or lifetime commitments, recommends following a few common sense rules to keep you safe.  At the very least, these are: meet in a public place, take your mobile, tell a friend where you’re going and when to expect you back.

"Keeping it secret" is not safe honey.

As you yourself prove, a zipless f**k may be high on many-a-lady’s fantasy list but actually getting one is a different matter.

The reason why women don’t ‘go to Hampstead Heath and meet strangers to s**g behind a bush’, as Stephen Fry told Attitude magazine last year, is not because women are less interested in sex, but we are hot-wired to protect ourselves. Why? Because women are more vulnerable to rape and sexual abuse.

It is, however, against my job description to be a killjoy, so why not investigate safer ways to have sex with strangers?

Hooking up with some swingers or attending a sex party (Night of the Senses Ball is fun and very rude) would give you the thrill of anonymous, instant sex without feeling alone and seedy about it. You may even meet some friends you could share your naughty secrets with.


My boyfriend wants me to send him some dirty pictures while he's away on an extended work trip. Any tips for looking hot on camera phone?

Take a look at some porn/girly mags and then do the exact opposite.

The sex-industry seems to think it’s hot is to splay oneself buck naked, whilst displaying downstairs detail on par with a gynaecological exam. 

It‘s NOT! 

Dark, sensual lighting is sexy so fill the room with a flattering rosy tint using candles and table lamps draped with red scarves.

Sheer or silky clothing falling away to reveal a tantalizing glimpse is sexy, so slip on your most seductive underwear or naughtiest negligee plus (let's face it- they work for everyone!)  silk stockings.

Arousal is sexy so have a little solo session before the camera comes out, then get to clicking  once you are well and truly turned on and carry on until you orgasm – I’m sure your boyfriend will champ at the bit for your money shot!

Finally, confidence is sexy. If you are 100% confident these pics will never come back to haunt you then go for it full-frontal. Otherwise I’d say wear something that protects your identity:  A fascinator with a veil, a trilby pulled down over your eyes or simply long hair tousled over your face will protect your blushes and may well give you an extra boost of uber hotness!


Sh! Women's Erotic Emporium is the UK’s first ever sex shop for women with stores in Hoxton Square and Portobello Rd.  Sh! is 100% run by women for women and couples. Men are welcome unaccompanied on Gents Nights, held in both stores every Tuesday.




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