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Hi Kathryn, I wanted to know what your views on bondage are. I’ve got a new boyfriend and he’s hinted that he’d be into handcuffing and spanking me but I’m not sure. I think I’d feel silly and possibly a bit scared. Should I give it a go?

Do you like massage or oral sex? Have you ever had a lover hold your wrists together and enjoyed it?  When you think about it many erotic activities are an exchange of trust and power with someone performing and the other exquisitely receiving. Bondage simply ritualizes this power-exchange and dresses it up in a fetching outfit of leather and clips.  Bondage is meant to feel a bit scary, because you are surrendering all power to your partner. You are literally at their mercy and that’s the appeal.

But if you follow two rules you’ll see that the surrender is superficial and that really, you are the person in control. 

Rule 1:  Only allow yourself to be tied up by someone you trust 100%.

Only you know whether your new boyfriend has earned your complete trust yet. Don’t be badgered into bondage until he has.

Rule 2: Always agree on a safe word that will halt the game instantly if you say it. A safe word should be something nonsensical within the context of the game. Some people like to use “orange” to mean ease-up and “red” to mean stop now.

Follow these rules and you can feel free to explore your dark side, yell “No” or “Stop” to your heart's content and feel safe in the knowledge if you do start to feel overwhelmed (in a wrong way), you have the power to stop the shenanigans.

Tip: A hot date for curious couples; Come & learn the sensual art of rope bondage with experienced “rigger” Rod Macdonald bondage (sh-womenstore.com.


I’m just wondering if there’s a male version of vajazzling? I’d like my girlfriend a Christmassy surprise. I want something that doesn’t make it look like the last turkey in the shop. Thanks.

There is a male version of vajazzling and its called pejazzling. No, I’m not making this up. Quite how many guys are going around decorating their dicks with Swarovski I couldn’t say, but we certainly haven’t been inundated with requests… I suspect it maybe a TOWIE ruse.

To stick crystals on your nethers requires a smooth canvas; your pecker area will need to be close-shaven or even waxed so yes, I’m afraid you may resemble plucked poultry, albeit sparkly.

Unless you own waxed eyebrows and a larger cosmetics bag than your girlfriend, I would opt for a Christmassy surprise with more potential for hit than miss. Adorn yourself with a vibrating cock ring  - will certainly surprise her and in all the right ways!

 
Sh! Women's Erotic Emporium is the UK’s first ever sex shop for women with stores in Hoxton Square and Portobello Rd.  Sh! is 100% run by women for women and couples. Men are welcome unaccompanied on Gents Nights, held in both stores every Tuesday.


 


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