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So you made a bunch of silly new year vows – diet, less booze, etc. – but surely you’re over it now. Time to fall off the wagon big time

The Devastator Burger

If you’re looking to quit your diet in a big way, this gut busting 3300 calorie meal at the US-themed Red Dog Saloon will certainly do the trick – it consists of three six-ounce patties, six slices of cheese, 200g of pulled pork and six rashers of bacon. 

£18.95, Mon-Thu, 12pm-11pm; Fri-Sat
10am-11pm; Sun, 12pm-10.30pm 37
Hoxton Square, N1 6NN 
Tube | Old Street 
reddogsaloon.co.uk

 

 

Sexy Classes at SH! Women's Erotic Emporium 

Indulge in some serious vice this year by taking a saucy class at the Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium in Hoxton.

These ‘educational’ sessions are aimed at a range of punters, with some for women-only, others for men and still more for couples.

Learn how to have better orgasms on January 23, the key to the perfect blow job in February, the secrets of spanking in March, or save up your kinkiest fantasies and practice your pegging in May. Oo-er.

£25, next course, Beginners Guide To Fellatio
Feb 6, 6.30pm-9pm 57 Hoxton Square, N1 6HD 
Tube | Old Street 
sh-womenstore.com

 

Take up smoking ... Shisha

So you’ve managed to quit cigarettes – well done, you deserve a reward! How about the next best thing, a shisha at Ambience in Wimbledon?

They have a range of intriguing flavours, from Skittles and gummy bears to After Eight chocolate.

Plus, unlike with cigarettes, the smoke actually smells good. Yum! 

£12, open weekends, 12pm-1.30am 
12-14 Leopold Rd, SW19 7BD 
Tube | Wimbledon 
ambiencerestaurant.co.uk

 

The Beast Croydon

Try to finish ‘Europe’s largest burger’. It includes seven pounds of prime Black Angus beef, half a pound of mature cheddar cheese and seven rashers of smoky bacon.

Finish the whole thing and get it for free.

£60, open daily, 12pm-10pm  920 Brighton Rd, CR8 2LN 
Tube | Wallington 
burgersatblacks.co.uk

 

Mixology Session

These cocktail lessons are yet another reason to not give up drinking this month.

This is the opportunity to go to a mixology masterclass and learn to make your own fancy cocktails.

£70, January 19, 1pm  3 Ravey St, EC2A 4QP 
Tube | Old Street 
mixologyevents.co.uk

 

Eat Ice Cream

Indulge in a choice of more than 130 different flavours of ice cream at Oddono’s.

Their secret recipes are highly rated by the likes of Gordon Ramsay, and include kooky flavours such as basil

£3, Mon-Thu, 10am-11pm; Fri-Sat, 10am-12am
Sun, 10am-11pm 14 Bute St, SW7 3EX 
Tube | South Kensington 
oddonos.com

 

Coffee Tour

You tried to give up coffee too? Seriously!

Well, back on the wagon with a theatrical-style historical coffeehouse tour of London. Try a shot of 17th-century black, it’ll blow your mind.

£13.50, February 16, 11.30am 
Tour starts at St Michael’s Church, EC3V 9DS  
Tube | Bank 
unrealcityaudio.co.uk

 

Read more: Made a bunch of silly New Year's Resolutions? Here's how to fall off the wagon big time


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Resolutions? Nah! More ways to break your silly new year vows
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