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24th Jan 2013 12:29pm | By Editor
Is that an iPad in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? A new app that allows men to measure the length and girth of their penises has just hit Apple's iOS App Store.
VSM Enterprises, the developers of the app, claim it’s to help men size themselves for a more tailored condom; according to sexual health charities, condom failure is often a result of a poor fit.
Still, we suspect most men just want to know how they measure up. The app also graphs where a user’s size falls on the world league table. Warning: this may result in depression, and a severe ego bashing.
The app also recommends nearby stores to find a condom that fits, and provides sexual fun facts and prophylactic tips. A bargain for 69p.
Men are instructed to “hold hard member straight against inches or cm on sides of screen,” and to use a piece of string to get an accurate measurement of girth.
The app is also available for Android phones.