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There is something peculiarly English about the smug handwringing of the limey isle's cricket pundits this morning.

Does England's obliteration of the Aussies in the second test spell disaster for the rest of the series? Winning isn't fun if it's too easy. Are England now doomed to suffer in their vast superiority? These are the general sentiments.

Questions that OFF STUMPED can assure you weren't mirrored in the Australian press during the Baggy Greens almost 20-year epoch of utter dominance.

That's the thing about the English, the second they get a modicum of success this bizarre mood takes over, as if that's all they've ever known, as if England have been winning test series since time immemorial. That's why it's so useful flooding  the test match coverage with Aussie heroes of yore, just to remind the British press that this whole England winning thing is still a fairly new concept.

It's a phenomena that was wonderfully captured in this A Bit of Fry and Laurie sketch.

OFF STUMPED isn't in the business of speculating where this preposterous tendency comes from. A post-colonial hangover perhaps? Jumped-up public schoolboys brought up on tales of empire and their own superiority, who went to sleep dreaming of squatting on Nelson's column? Who knows. Who, frankly, gives a shit.

All OFF STUMPED would like is to say is England, save your sympathy. Or more accurately, shove it up your arse.

Image via Getty


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Ashes 2013: OFF STUMPED - Shove your sympathy England
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