What to wear: Dirndls and lederhosen

credit: B Roemmelt

Half the fun of Oktoberfest is getting kitted out in traditional German outfits for your drinking session. For lads, this means a red check or white shirt with lederhosen (long leather shorts) and braces. Ladies, a full dirndl includes a bodice, blouse (the boobier the better), full skirt and apron. As for those felt alpine hats with a feather... sure, why not?

These outfits are available all over Munich, but the more authentic ones can be quite pricey, upwards of £150. Lots of Oktoberfesters cut costs by going second-hand, or even making their own (Clea’s friend made hers and stitched a little Kiwi flag on the apron). Department store C&A stocks cheap versions in Munich. Buying the overly skimpy outfits available online or from sex shops is a big no-no, as Munichers don’t approve. This is Oktoberfest, not an Ann Summers event.

What to eat: Beyond the sauerkraut

credit: Tommy Loesch

Believe us, you’re going to need some serious stodge to line your stomachs if you’re going to be putting away all those steins of grog. Favourite dishes at Oktoberfest are hendl (roast chicken), schweinshaxe (pork knuckle) and Bavarian sausages, but some of the tents do more specialist dishes. At the Wildstuben tent, you can get roast wild boar and venison while at the Schuetzen Festzelt tent, suckling pig prepared in an authentic Bavarian malt beer sauce is served.  Carbing up by snacking on giant pretzels is also a winner.

What to drink: Best of Bavarian

credit: Tommy Loesch

A mass is one litre of beer, served in a stein, and costs around £7.70. While there isn’t the huge range of beers available that you’d expect for a festival devoted to the foamy stuff, there’s certainly plenty on offer. All the brands served are regional, and adhere to the strict 1516 Bavarian Purity Requirements, which mean only water, hops and barley can be used to brew them. Names you’re likely to recognise include Augustiner, Paulaner, Spaten-Franziskaner, Löwenbräu and Hofbräu. Different beers are served at various tents, so pick your favourite and arrive early. Some punters nab their seats at 9am as they fill up so fast – and yes, you can get served at that hour.

What else to do: Explore Munich

credit: iStock

Honestly, you don’t have to drink beer the whole time you’re in the city. Take a breather and see some of Munich’s sights. You can get a great view of the skyline from the 290m-high Olympic Tower at Munich’s Olympia Park (olympiapark.de). 
For petrol-heads, BMW’s HQ (known as four-cylinder tower) and the museum next to it is a must-see (bmw-welt.com). There are lots of exhibitions about the technical development of cars, and vintage models on display to drool over. 

And if you need a break from the crowds, Munich has a number of spacious green parks. The biggest is the sprawling English Garden (Englischer Garten), which stretches for 5km and is one of Europe’s largest city parks. Relax by the lake, sprawl out on the grass, or go for a stroll along the winding paths (watch out for naked sunbathers – it’s a thing here).

Oktoberfest language:

• Biddscheen: Please, also “here you go”

• Eihebn: If you’re so dizzy because of too much beer, you have to cling to something

• Bieseln: To take a piss. Many prefer “wild bieseln” to avoid the charge to use a toilet

• Froaseln: Nonsense drivel

• Fackl: A young pig, or an indecently behaving person

• Fetznrausch: Totally drunk

• Hi: Broken

• Mognschoaß: A burp

• Noagerlzuzla: Insult. Someone who drinks beer dregs

• Obandeln: To flirt with explicit intention

• Prost!: Cheers!

• Schbei’m: To vomit or spit

Oktoberfest

17 September to 3 October

oktoberfest.de

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