Q I suspect my fiancé is keeping a secret from his past from me, and I don’t know what to do.

We keep receiving notices to make child support payments for a child he says is not his and says that they’ve got the wrong person. I’m not sure how I would feel if it is his child.

What should I do?

A It’s his kid and he’s lying. That’s obvious. You can put your house on it.

But you should ask yourself why him being a dad is such a big deal. Is it because you like to pretend he’s never slept with another woman, and his kid punctures that little fantasy? Would you prefer he was sterile? Or a virgin?

In life, shit happens that you don’t plan for. He knocked up a girl and it didn’t work out between them. You should accept his deception in good humour and remember that, in some cultures, it’s traditional for men to father dozens of children out of wedlock.

Basically, you need to be more open-minded.

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