“Female dominance has always been prevalent, it was simply behind closed doors,“ says fetish model, edgeplay sadist, lifestyle mistress and dominatrix of 10 years, Rebekka Raynor. “Of course, now that it is so much more out in the open, people who would not normally have thought about such things begin to experiment and, if they like it, they keep doing it.”

If so many people like a dose of sadism with their sandwiches, it makes sense that  we can use dominatrix principles in our everyday lives. Raynor tells us how…

Get housework done

If you are ready to unleash your inner dominatrix, this is a good opportunity to do so – as long as your partner is up for it. “Strip the slave, collar him and order each room to be cleaned with precise instructions on how you would like it to be done, then put your feet up,” Raynor says.

If that’s a step too far for now, simply try flashing a bit of flesh when you ask to imply that if they do what they are told, they will be rewarded. Get what you wantDon’t be afraid to ask for what you want – or, even better, demand it.

“There is an obvious difference between asking and demanding, but you can make that difference more subtle,” Raynor explains. “Stance is an extremely important factor, so make sure you stand tall. It will also help if you dress in a way that makes you feel confident and powerful. Also, maintain a steady gaze. On the phone make sure that your voice is calm and assertive but without aggression.”

Get a foot massage

Make sure your legs and feet look their best, then wear a short skirt, maybe stockings, and high-heels or long boots. Men, show off your pins with a tight pair of shorts that leave little to the imagination. “Sit next to your partner on the sofa so that your legs are lightly draped across their lap.

Now lure them with a treat, such as chocolate, or their favourite video game, by tracing it gently up your leg, indicating that to gain access to the chocolate or game they need to massage your legs and feet. Be sure to reward them, but only when you’re completely satisfied with your massage.”

Get a better sex life

Sensory deprivation is a great way of taking control in the bedroom. A quick and easy way of doing this is to blindfold your partner – but for a more intense experience, and one that confirms that you really are the one in control, you need patience and discipline.

“In week one, avoid sexy clothing or touch. Then at the start of the second week begin dressing provocatively, but don’t make it obvious. Just expose a little flesh by undoing an extra button on your shirt, or wearing your clothing a little tighter than usual. Slowly but surely lure them in so they are begging you for attention.

Whatever you do, remember that you’re in charge and only you can determine when the famine will end and the feast begin.” Inside the World of the Dominatrix with Rebekka Raynor, August 7, 7.30pm, The Coterie Social Salon, £20 online, £25 on the door. Quote ‘TNT’ to receive an exclusive 20 per cent off.

Photos: Getty and Thinkstock