I’m on my knees, I’m soaked, and it’s pitch black. I’ve just gone down The Toilet, a hole in the rocky floor of a cave, and now I’m trying to flush myself clear. There is light at the end of the tunnel, literally, albeit only a dull glow from our guide’s head torch. But I can’t really focus on it as the space is so tight, it’s impossible to hold my helmeted head up, and my legs are under water.

This, as unlikely as it may seem, is caving for beginners.

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