Hey Noodles. What have you been up to? I’m at home [in California] today. I went out for a little surf this morning, then I was watching the Trestles [surf] contest online. That’s about all I’ve done today.

Good stuff. Noodles or Kevin? Noodles.

Backpack or suitcase? Backpack.

What’s your poison? Beer. Among other things, haha.

Favourite place in the world? Gotta be home. We’ve been travelling all over and it’s just nice to be home right now.

What’s your death row meal? Fried chicken and beer.

Do you have any tattoos? I’ve got four. One with my daughter’s initials, with a sun around it, on my right shoulder; dolphins on my left shoulder and upper arm. I’ve got a sacred heart thing on my right forearm and a tattoo of my wife holding a guitar, kind of a pin-up style, on my left forearm. I’ve got to get my son’s initials somehow.

If you weren’t a musician what would you be doing now? I’d probably still be a janitor.

Was life as a janitor anything like Groundskeeper Willie in The Simpsons?< Very much. I didn’t have the accent though unfortunately, haha.

Have you ever been in a fist fight? Oh yeah. A lot when I was younger. I was a pretty skinny kid with glasses and braces and was kind of a target for abuse and I used to fight back, so yeah plenty.

How did you get your name? Well I’m adopted and there’s this John Waters movie called Pink Flamingos, where there’s this baby they’re selling on the black market to buy heroin that they want to sell to school children and this baby’s called Noodles. My friends decided I should be called Noodles after this baby.

If you could be an all-powerful god for one day, what would you do? I’d give all women implants, or just bigger natural breasts I think. And I’d put a point break – for waves – right outside my house.

You’ve been to Australia before. Any favourite places? We’ve been to Australia like 10 times and always have a great time. First time we were there we did Big Day Out and played with a bunch of crazy bands like Primal Scream, Hole, The Cult. A lot of crazy stuff went on, some heavy duty darkness and drama, that was all pretty fun. Courtney Love got arrested on one of the flights. I love Australia. If I couldn’t live in the US, if I couldn’t live in California even, I could live in Australia for sure. The coastline is just gorgeous, the people are awesome. Always ready to take the piss, but always ready to have a beer with you afterwards, you know.

Do you have much time off to see the country when you’re here this time? I’m hoping to get there a day early. We’re starting in Brisbane, so maybe I’ll do some surfing up on the Gold Coast, or wherever the waves are good.

Do you notice the crowds behaving differently in different countries? A little bit. More in terms with what songs connect with the audience. “Walla Walla” or “One Fine Day” will go over really well in France or Italy but maybe not so well in Germany. “Self Esteem” is usually our last song, it does that well with connecting with the audience, but not in Japan. We’ve tried moving it down in the set, you know, but it doesn’t work in Japan for some reason. We don’t play it in Japan.

Lastly, tell us your favourite joke? Oh man. A lot of jokes I like are all really wrong so I’d better not, haha.

The Offspring play Brisbane’s Tivoli Theatre on October 28 (sold out); Sydney’s Enmore on 29th and Melbourne’s Megarampage, Etihad Stadium on 31st