As London Fetish Weekend begins, we take a look at the naughty side of the capital with this selection of rude, lewd and downright kinky events happening regularly in the capital or coming soon…

Erotic Dancing, Camden Town

Ladies, learn to shake your booty to maximum effect with classes ranging from how to pole dance like a pro to an introduction to strip tease. No experience is necessary, and you’ll be in good hands as it’s the teachers who train the teachers training you (get it?). Choose from one-off classes to six-week courses. Apparently you’ll end up ‘walking with sensual confidence’. What are you waiting for?

Various times
400 York Way, N7 9LR
Tube: Caledonian Road

Coco de Mer’s Sex Secrets & Tips, South Kensington

Coco De Mer founder Sam Rodderick will be revealing all she’s learnt in 10 years of exploring the world of sexuality. Highlighting long-held taboos and offering practical tips and techniques from experts, the session will close with a ‘liberating’ Q&A. Price includes drinks and a special discount.

Thurs, Oct 6. 6.45pm-9pm
108 Draycott Ave, SW3 3AE
Tube: South Kensington

Erotica 2011

The F club, SW London

This ‘discrete’ private members’ club holds erotic parties  with “attractive sexy adults”. In other words, it runs swingers’ nights. Make sure you check with your other half before booking.  And don’t forget to take your car keys.

Events most evenings
South West London

London Fetish Map, buy online

Listing clubs, shops, events and services, this map is a one-stop shop for all things fetish in London. Buy it online and you’ll be delivered the street plans along with contact details, opening times. For the worried, it comes in ‘discreet’ packaging.

Kinky Salon

Kinky Salon sells itself as “doing sexy things in the name of art and arty things in the name of sex”. It’s run by volunteers who host creative parties open to everyone from “vanilla” to “try-sexual”. Dress up and embrace the quirky themes. It’s known for running events such as ‘Eco-sexual: A nature-ist’s Paradise’, however, the theme for its next party – to be held on December 10 – is yet to be announced.

Exotic Massage, your place

”Reconnect your loving relationship with tantric massage”, oozes the WINK website. For those who didn’t know they had a loving relationship with tantric massage, this could be the place to start. Operating between 1pm and 2am every day, you can book an exotic rub down performed by a beautiful woman. Choose from sensual, nude or tantric. There’s one rule: no groping.

By appointment only
Your house or hotel

Rabbit Family, Ann Summers

We’ve all heard of the Rampant Rabbit, right? Well, Ann Summers is launching the Rampant Rabbit Family – made of silicone. There’s The Ears, which has seven functions and is shaped to fit into your hand (£30) as well as The Cock (get it?) ring which features tiny motors in each ear for ‘precision pleasuring’ (£25). And not forgetting the RR itself (£49) which has seven functions in the ears. Summers claims they’re its best products ever. Decide for yourself.

Opening hours vary
Ariel Way, W12
Tube: Stratford

Sh! Women’s erotic emporium classes, Hoxton

Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium – if you haven’t heard of it, Google it – runs a range of women-only workshops. Learn how to blow his mind (Sept 29), find out how to spank (Nov 2) correctly (yes, there is a technique), discover your G-spot (Nov 9) then book in to discuss anal pleasure (Nov 30). You might need a lie down after all that excitement.

Various times
57 Hoxton Square, N1 6PB
Tube: Old Street 

Alternative Market, Islington

A wander around this “community-supporting” market could prove to be an eye-opener for the naive. But as well as welcoming “mistresses, slaves, ponies” it also encourages the curious to attend. Here you can buy sex toys, art, shoes, fashion and attend masterclasses. As part of London Fetish Weekend, on October 1, learn how to crack a whip with Alex Jacob or attend the mastering dominance workshop. The market usually runs the first Sunday of every month.

Sat, Oct 1. Midday-6pm
Electrowerkz, 7 Torrens St, EC1V 1NQ 
Tube: Angel

Club Pedestal

Club Pedestal, Vauxhall

Always fancied being waited on by male slaves (who will also polish your shoes) Then this night, geared towards entertainment for women, although men are allowed, is for you. Enjoy a tantric massage to help you unwind before cutting some shapes to DJ Acid Joe. For the more initiated, wander into the dungeon room, where you can play with up to 15 pieces of kit.

Friday, Sept 30. 10pm-5am
Club Colosseum, Nine Elms Lane, SW8 5NQ 
Tube: Vauxhall

Wam Bam Club, West End

Mix comedy and burlesque at this prestigious variety night. Kick-start with a free taster session by Burlesque Baby.

Sat, Oct 1. 7pm-4am
Cafe de Paris
3-4 Coventry Street, W1D 6BL
Tube: Piccadilly Circus

Cellar Door, Westminster

This cosy space, which was converted from a Victoria toilet into a bar, with capacity for just 60 people. Watch in awe as men clad in too-high heels and too-long eyelashes try to outdo each other in the drag queen talent contest. Sip cocktails and enjoy the classy-but-seedy atmosphere.

Open every night
Aldwych, WC2E 7DN
Tube: Covent Garden

Madame Jojo’s, Soho

With a top line-up of world-renowned cabaret acts and burlesque performers, Madame Jojo’s has secured itself a sparkling reputation. Be entertained by Kitsch Cabaret – an indulgence of Fifties glamour, sequins and showbiz while supping decadent cocktails.

Every Sat. From 8pm
8-10 Brewer Street, W1F 0SE
Tube: Piccadilly Circus

Soho Books

Soho Original Books Store, Soho

With an extensive range of works to rival any shop in the capital, this famous bookstore may look innocent when you first walk in. But, head down to the basement where you’ll discover the adult-themed delights. As well as novels and erotic reading, there are DVDs, magazines, sex toys and herbal pills. Open since 1993, it has grown from ?a single store to an independent chain. Head ?to the original in Brewer St – it’s free to browse, but take some pennies as you’ll end up buying something – just as a souvenir, of course.

Mon-Sat ‘til 1am. Sun ‘til 11pm
12 Brewer St, W1F OED
Tube: Piccadilly Circus 

London Fetish Ball, Brixton

Dress to impress for the London Fetish Ball where there will be fashion thrills from Lady Lucie Latex, Kaori’s Latex Dreams and Jane Doe Latex (guess the theme?). Artists including Amrita and Midori then take to the stage to shock and delight with risque performances. Then dance the night away to dirty electro and ghetto house in the club arena or boogie to swing and sleazy RnB in the ballroom.
Sat, Oct 1. 10pm-6am

St Matthews Church, SW2 1JF
Tube: Brixton