credit: OrangeDukeProductions

Who’s been a good boy and who’s been a twat…

Saints

KFC v McDonald’s taking the piss out of Donald Trump v Kim Jong-Un

We’re all familiar with the regular willy-waving on twitter between the ‘stable genius’ that isn’t Donald Trump and his current nemesis Kim Jong-Un – the latest spat culminating in whose Nuclear Button is biggest:

@realDonaldTrump

North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the “Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.” Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!

Step up the social media team at KFC taking the opportunity to take a swipe at fast food rivals McDonalds and indeed a side-swipe at Trump at the same time:

@KFC_UKI

McDonald’s leader Ronald just stated he has a “burger on his desk at all times”. Will someone from his big shoed, red nosed regime inform him that I too have a burger on my desk, but mine is a box meal which is bigger and more powerful than his, and mine has gravy! #nuclearbutton

Now that is genius!

Sinners

“This is not just any cauliflower, this is an M&S cauliflower…steak” – and it’ll cost you a whopping £2.50 ‘n’ all!

Remember the food porn adverts for M&S about a decade ago? Well, I’m guessing this wouldn’t really make the grade. Yep, M&S have attempted to cash in on the growing vegetarian trend by slicing up a cauliflower, wrapping it in plastic and calling it a ‘cauliflower steak’, oh and sticking a £2.50 price tag on it too despite whole cauliflowers being available for under £1…Now I don’t who’s worse in this scenario – M&S for cashing in and, given the recent backlash on using single use plastic packaging, using said single use plastic packaging, or those fool enough to buy such an item all in the name of convenience, because let’s face it, taking off the leaves and slicing a whole cauliflower up is pretty difficult! To be fair M&S have held their hands up and said “…on this occasion, we didn’t get it right” – No shit, Sherlock – a rethink from the marketing team is required!

Saints

London lad hugs abandoned Christmas tree and takes it home…

I know where this boy is coming from. It’s a sad sight after the magic of Christmas is over and being the star of the show in a lot of peoples homes, the Christmas tree is de-frocked, taken down and thrown out into the front garden and left to slowly die over the following weeks until it’s finally disposed of – we’ve all seen it. Radio DJ Sian Welby was approaching one such abandoned tree, left on the pavement of a London street when she saw a young boy approach said tree, give it a hug and say “don’t worry you can come home with me” and proceed to pick up the tree by one end and walk off down the street with it – what a little legend! I love him.

Sinners

Do we really need to tell teenagers not to eat laundry detergent? Yes, we do

You may have noticed in recent years the added health & safety note at the end of laundry detergent adverts to keep them out of the reach of children – looks like they need to add ‘and teenagers’ to the end of that too.

There seems to be a growing number of teenagers taking up the so called ‘Tide Pod Challenge’ and ingesting the colourful plastic pods and of course, posting on social media. The American Association of Poison Control Centers reported 39 cases in the first 15 days of 2018 alone and magazines such as Teen Vogue have taken to writing articles for their readers warning against such foolishness. Ironically the reported cases of under 5s ingesting laundry detergent has gone down while reported cases in teenagers…..well, has shot up – we all did daft things when we were in our teens but laundry detergent…really?

Saints

Madam Tussauds for bringing their waxwork model of Donald Trump down to the new US Embassy

So, the US President very publicly pulled out of his planned visit to London to open the new Embassy on the banks of the River Thames. The US President tweeted:

@realDonaldTrump

Reason I canceled my trip to London is that I am not a big fan of the Obama Administration having sold perhaps the best located and finest embassy in London for ‘peanuts,’ only to build a new one in an off location for 1.2 billion dollars. Bad deal. Wanted me to cut ribbon-NO. 

So, on Friday morning (12th Jan) the famous waxwork attraction took their version of the President down to Nine Elms, the site of the new Embassy and posed him outside for photographers and construction workers to have a bit of fun. Now, if only they could could ensconce him in the Oval Office!

Sinners

French shoppers ‘rioting’ to get their hands on cut-price Nutella

We’re used to seeing a small amount of fisticuffs on Black Friday as consumers can’t control themselves over the possibility of a cut price TV but jars of Nutella – really? French supermarket Intermarche slashed the chocolaty spread by 70% causing shoppers to – and I quote ‘storm the Nutella aisle’, queues formed outside and chaos broke out inside – one worker described it as an orgy and said they were on the verge of calling the police! “They are like animals. A woman had her hair pulled, an elderly lady took a box on her head, another had a bloody hand,” one customer told French media. Come on France – get a grip – it’s chocolate spread.