This year’s Edinburgh Fringe festival was, one hopes, chock-full of funny jokes. Now TV channel Dave has sifted through them all to come up with what it considers the top 10 best jokes. First place was awarded to Nick Helm.
Edinburgh Fringe Festival's top ten funny jokes
1. “I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.” Nick Helm
2. “Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.” Tim Vine
3. “People say ‘I'm taking it one day at a time.’ You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works.” Hannibal Buress
4. “Drive Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought … once you've hired the car …” Tim Key
5. “I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess.” Matt Kirshen
6. “My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.” Sarah Millican
7. “I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure.” Alan Sharp
8. “Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I’m not falling for that one again, wife.” Mark Watson
9. “I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can’t even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails.” Andrew Lawrence
10. “My friend died doing what he loved … Heroin.” DeAnne Smith
Funny? Dire? tell us what you think.