The Umbilical Brothers
Queen Elizabeth Hall
This Australian duo have been peddling their off-beat physical comedy for what seems like forever, and they’re still going strong, having wowed audiences in Edinburgh and New York. In their latest show, you can expect to encounter a spot of underwater horse-racing, as well as witnessing a kung fu fight against a fly.
Apr 6-7. 7.30pm
Queen Elizabeth Hall, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX
One of London’s newest markets has sprung up in the concrete jungle of the east. But the surrounds have made organisers more determined to ensure their market is colourful and cruisey enough to persuade people to make an appearance on
a Sunday morning when their mates are sleeping off the night before.
Sun, Apr 8. 10am
Spitalfields City Farm, Buxton St, E1 5AR
Tube | Liverpool Street
The Mayans were responsible for a bunch of crackpot end-times prophecies which have been embraced by today’s tinfoil-hat brigade but they also had a thing for chocolate. At Kew Gardens, you can make a batch of the brown stuff after offering an origami flower to placate the sacred jaguar god who lives in the water lily pond.
Until Sun, Apr 15. 9.30am
Kew Gardens, Kew Rd, W9 3AB
Tube | Kew Gardens
Torture Garden’s Easter Ball
Ministry of Sound
Any Torture Garden event promises to be a real eye-opener, attracting a mixture of goths, punks and costumed fetish freaks, and there’s a rigidly enforced dress code to ensure everyone makes an effort. The venue, London’s world-famous Ministry of Sound, is a suitably atmospheric locale for one of Torture Garden’s biggest annual parties, which will undoubtedly be a night to remember.
Thurs, Apr 5. 10pm
103 Gaunt St, SE1 6DP
Tube | Elephant & Castle
The Boat Race
Banks of the Thames
It’s that time of year again, when thousands spend a boozy afternoon thronging along the Thames, cheering on a bunch of toffish rowers from Oxford and Cambridge. Of course, it’s not about the rowing so much as the parties that spring up in the pubs and parks along the route on either side of the river. The crowds arrive early for this quintessentially London knees-up so it’s worth staking out a spot in advance and, of course, the trip home can be a nightmare, so don’t make any hard-and-fast dinner plans.
Sat, April 7. From midday
Between Putney Bridge and Chiswick Bridge
Tube | Hammersmith
Stock up on all your Easter food at this market, which springs up on the banks of the Thames. More than 40 vendors will be setting up shop to sell food and drink. Sure, you could go to Sainsbury’s for your shopping, but you’d miss out on the satisfaction of inspecting the produce and getting something that really takes your fancy.
Apr 6-8. noon
Southbank Centre Square Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX
Tube | Waterloo
The performers of this Russian troupe have a reputation as the most skilled circus acts in the world, and their new show revolves around Babushkin Sekret, the Twelve Chairs, the legend of the hunt for an heiress’s hidden jewellery. There are some dazzling skills, mostly aerial acrobatics, on display, so make sure you catch it.
Apr 5-15. Times vary
Alexandra Palace, Alexandra Palace Way, N22 7AY
Tube | Wood Green