The Umbilical Brothers

Queen Elizabeth Hall

This Australian duo have been peddling their off-beat physical comedy for what seems like forever, and they’re still going strong, having wowed audiences in Edinburgh and New York. In their latest show, you can expect to encounter a spot of underwater horse-racing, as well as witnessing a kung fu fight against a fly. 

Apr 6-7. 7.30pm
Queen Elizabeth Hall, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX 
Waterloo
southbankcentre.co.uk
 

Eco-Chic

Market

One of London’s newest markets has sprung up in the concrete jungle of the east. But the surrounds have made organisers more determined to ensure their market is colourful and cruisey enough to persuade people to make an appearance on
a Sunday morning when their mates are sleeping off the night before. 

Sun, Apr 8. 10am
Spitalfields City Farm, Buxton St, E1 5AR 
Tube | Liverpool Street 
ecochicoutdoormarket.com
 

Maya Chocolate

Adventure

The Mayans were responsible for a bunch of crackpot end-times prophecies which have been embraced by today’s tinfoil-hat brigade but they also had a thing for chocolate. At Kew Gardens, you can make a batch of the brown stuff after offering an origami flower to placate the sacred jaguar god who lives in the water lily pond. 

Until Sun, Apr 15. 9.30am
Kew Gardens, Kew Rd, W9 3AB 
Tube | Kew Gardens 
kew.org
 

Torture Garden’s Easter Ball
 

Ministry of Sound

Any Torture Garden event promises to be a real eye-opener, attracting a mixture of goths, punks and costumed fetish freaks, and there’s a rigidly enforced dress code to ensure everyone makes an effort. The venue, London’s world-famous Ministry of Sound, is a suitably atmospheric locale for one of Torture Garden’s biggest annual parties, which will undoubtedly be a night to remember.

Thurs, Apr 5. 10pm
103 Gaunt St, SE1 6DP 
Tube | Elephant & Castle 

torturegarden.com
 


The Boat Race

Banks of the Thames

It’s that time of year again, when thousands spend a boozy afternoon thronging along the Thames, cheering on a bunch of toffish rowers from Oxford and Cambridge. Of course, it’s not about the rowing so much as the parties that spring up in the pubs and parks along the route on either side of the river. The crowds arrive early for this quintessentially London knees-up so it’s worth staking out a spot in advance and, of course, the trip home can be a nightmare, so don’t make any hard-and-fast dinner plans. 

Sat, April 7. From midday
Between Putney Bridge and Chiswick Bridge  
Tube | Hammersmith 
 
theboatrace.org


Easter Real

Food Market

 Stock up on all your Easter food at this market, which springs up on the banks of the Thames. More than 40 vendors will be setting up shop to sell food and drink. Sure, you could go to Sainsbury’s for your shopping, but you’d miss out on the satisfaction of inspecting the produce and getting something that really takes your fancy. 

Apr 6-8. noon
Southbank Centre Square Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX 
Tube | Waterloo 
southbankcentre.co.uk
 

Moscow

State Circus

The performers of this Russian troupe have a reputation as the most skilled circus acts in the world, and their new show revolves around Babushkin Sekret, the Twelve Chairs, the legend of the hunt for an heiress’s hidden jewellery. There are some dazzling skills, mostly aerial acrobatics, on display, so make sure you catch it. 

Apr 5-15. Times vary
Alexandra Palace,  Alexandra Palace Way, N22 7AY 
Tube | Wood Green 

moscowstatecircus.com