An extra fiver per ticket gets you a “large glass of house wine” and you’ll probably need it if you’re going to enjoy this flimsy musical, which has as much merit as the sort of inferior TV sitcom that would have you rapidly switching channels if you were watching at home.

Tim Flavin won an Olivier Award almost thirty years ago but is here reduced to flouncing around as the gay manager of an upmarket department store which is about to stage a launch with the help of a host of footballer’s spray-tanned wives and girlfriends.

Meanwhile, on the cosmetics counter, Daisy Wood-Davis’s Jenny really believes that footballer Charlie is going to leave his wife and whisk her away, and colleague Sharron’s abusive relationship blinds her to the devotion of cleaner Basement Pete with hissinger-songwriter talents.

Among the “celebrity” guests are Alyssa Kyria’s Greek Ariadne whose comedyroutine is barely integrated in the show, and a  tubby interloper called Blow-Jo  – not to mention a couple of real life WAGS who add a touch of glamour but not  a lot else.

A programme note states that writer Belvedere Pashun “re-energises hissenses” camping in the Himalayas. On the evidence of this lacklustre show,another visit is long overdue.Louise Kingsley

Charing Cross Theatre
The Arches, Villiers Street, WC2N 6NL
Until 24th August, £12.50+