The in-car DJ: Nick Grimshaw
Do you turn up to every journey with edgy music the others “probably haven’t heard of”? If so, sounds like you might be ‘The Grimmy’, the resident DJ.
You’re always at hand with a Viking Metal mixtape or some solid Nerdcore Hip Hop – but if that’s not to everyone’s taste, you’re more than happy flicking through the stations for inspiration.
You’re great on long journeys, as you’ll never run out of music or banter to keep your fellow travellers entertained. Careful, though – ‘The Grimmy’ can be a harsh judge at times, particularly if anyone else’s in-car power ballads don’t quite cut the mustard.
Skinny jeans, leopard print coat, and silly quiff optional; Oldham accent encouraged.
The feeder: Nigella Lawson
Do you always have snacks on hand to keep up morale on a long journey? Sounds like you might be a feeder, just like national treasure Nigella. Since food is the way to many a heart, you’re one of the most popular passengers in any rideshare – unless of course you’ve spilt one too many crumbs on a brand new cream interior.
If course, if you were a true Nigella, you’d only bring treats well-suited to travel… Naturally they’d also be the most luxurious and delicious snacks ever seen on the M1.
You often describe exactly how you’ve made each snack – but when your double-chocolate and gold leaf brownies are that good, no one is listening anyway.
The ‘caraoke’ lover: Adele
Hello – how are you? Are you the one belting out chart-topping hits from the backseat? You must be an Adele – the ‘caraoke’ star that will take over the radio to blast this week’s number 1 or something obscenely catchy if there’s no ‘Grimmy’ on hand to choose the latest alternative tunes.
If you live up to your celebrity namesake, you’ll never run out of (hopefully) tuneful renditions of road-trip anthems – you can only hope that your passenger seat performance will be Grammy award-winning, too.
What’s more, Adele’s approachable, chatty attitude onstage helped make her popular – bring that to the backseat stage, and you’ll make friends quickly.
The in-car comedian: Amy Schumer
Do you have a talent for spotting rude street names on long car journeys? Always armed to the teeth with hilarious stories from your latest night out? Sounds like you’re the Amy Schumer of the group – the in-car comedian.
Your humour might be a little (okay, a lot) on the saucy side, but you’re the best bet for keeping spirits up on a long journey, and your arsenal of comedy anecdotes can get the funny side out of even your most serious travel companions.
Running a comedy sketch show from the back seat is hard work, especially if you haven’t got a Tina Fey-type to bounce ideas off. But never fear – you can still dazzle your ridesharing friends with an unending array of jokes you mastered on the amateur stand-up circuit (or just picked up down the pub).
The backseat driver: Lewis Hamilton
All about manual driving? Think you know the best way from A to B? Always immaculately groomed, and likely to turn up with your latest glamorous partner in tow? You, my friend, are the backseat driver – the Lewis Hamilton of the group.
You can be a mixed bag as a passenger, so if you find yourself bursting to give some driving tips, watch yourself before you start getting annoying. Of course, no one’s going to complain if you can get them out of a tricky junction in a jiffy – but they might not be looking for tips on how to use a gearbox.
The solution? Put yourself on map duty – Lewis didn’t win all those Grand Prix by getting lost!
The over-prepared one: Bear Grylls
Are you always over-prepared for a long journey? That’s classic Bear Grylls. You’re the passenger that brings more stuff on a journey than anyone else – think tissues to mop up spillages, de-icer to battle the UK’s Arctic climates, or enough bottles of water to get you through a trip across the Sahara.
You might think you need an ice pick, three climbing harnesses, and a six-man tent to drive from London to Manchester, but your fellow ridesharers might not be convinced.
Make up for excess baggage and your mud-splattered clothes by regaling your travelling companions with tales of your outdoor adventures – whether you’ve climbed Everest or not.
The chatterbox: Lena Dunham
Do you share personal stories with everyone you meet? Can friends, old and new, expect to hear about your childhood, your most embarrassing teenage moments, and probably your late night trip to Tesco last week? Sounds like you’re the classic chatterbox – the Lena Dunham.
One good thing about being so talkative, though, is your amazing ability to make anyone feel like they’re your best friend in no time at all. Still, a line’s a line, so best not to copy Lena’s habit for underdressing if you want to keep things from getting awkward.
Use the fact that you have no filter to your advantage – everyone likes a nice bit of juicy gossip.
Words: BlaBlaCar
