A 27-year-old Indian woman was harbouring what she thought was just a tenacious cold for six months—runny nose, persistent cough and a fever. Baffled doctors finally ran a camera down her throat and found a condom lodged in her lungs. She apparently inhaled it during fellatio and didn’t notice…talk about being in the moment.
Another 27-year-old woman (must be the quarter-life-crisis age of experimentation) was admitted to a Maryland hospital by medevac after a make-shift sex toy endeavour went terribly wrong. She and her partner attached a plastic toy (dildo?) to the end of a high-powered saber saw blade. The blade cut through the toy and severely wounded the woman.
A Croation man with a thing for foreign objects in the rectum decided to stick a neon light where the sun don’t shine. The bulb, still plugged in, mind you, promptly exploded in the narrow environment. The guy nearly died. Not a bright idea (pun attempted).
In related news…
A British priest was rushed to hospital after a potato “accidently” became lodged in his rectum. The clergyman, in his 50s, said he was hanging curtains in the nude when he inadvertently fell back onto his kitchen table and landed smack bang on the offending potato.
A 24-year-old UK woman claims that she was playing with her Wii Fit one day when she fell off of her board and pinched a nerve that triggered a disorder that doctor’s call “persistent sexual arousal syndrome”. After the accident, even the most minor of vibrations, like the ones from her food processor, caused a “twinge down below” that surged through her entire body and often built into “a trembling orgasm”.
Valentina Sokolov, a 51-year-old Russian woman had been given a copy of the Kama Sutra for her 50th birthday. She and husband Ivan decided to get kinky and practice one of the positions. Shooting for the stars, they chose the Indrani or “deck chair” position. This complicated position involves the woman drawing up her knees so her feet are jammed under her partner’s armpits.
Things were going great for the couple until Valentina started to climax, triggering a muscle spasm that trapped Ivan inside her. The couple tried unsuccessfully to separate themselves for two hours. Finally they called an ambulance, and they couldn’t stop giggling to each other, all the way to the emergency room.