Sure, the first Test scorecard showed the side separated by 14 runs, but a few impressive events papered over the poor performance. 

When a number 11 on debut is required to score 98 to get you passed a miserly total, you’re struggling. 

Yesterday, to be bowled out for 128 on a good batting wicket without any real superstar performances from England was the worst fears realised. 

5-0 is now a real possibility. 

If England were blowing Australia away it would be easier to cop. But they’re not. 

Shane Watson’s walking in front of his stumps and Phil Hughes is playing what wouldn’t even be a decent ODI shot to nick one, and then wasting reviews selfishly, tells the story.

Chris Rogers copped a ball Graeme Swann is embarrassed by, but the spinner who got five-for rightly pointed out that he won’t be as embarrassed as the Middlesex captain who looked the goods on his home ground. 

Had Watson not frivolously reviewed his, Rogers may have gone upstairs for his, and he could have still been out there. Could have. 

Glenn McGrath shied away from his customary 5-0 to Australia Ashes prediction before the series, knowing that was just unrealistic, and unleashed on the side after yesterday’s dismal effort. 

“The situation of the match is horrendous for Australia,” McGrath said.

“The shot selection from Australian batsmen has been pretty poor and they can only blame themselves for the position they are in on a good batting wicket.

“To be bowled out for 128 at this level is unacceptable. If they can really fight and pull something out of the hat and somehow get a draw it would be incredible.

“The cricketers themselves have to put their hands up. There are some fine cricketers there. Now they have to go out there and do the business.”

Yet again the bowlers have been left the job to make it a game. 

For the sake of cricket fans, English and Australian, let’s hope they do. 

Banter at the pub for Aussies in England is great, and being underdogs is uncustomary but fine, but now pity is creeping into conversations with English fans, and that’s just no fun at all.

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