Q. I have been in a relationship with a very calm, generous and kind guy for a year.

He’s great but hates being touched and kissed as he is very sensitive.

I can’t show my feelings for him.

What can I do?

A. Have you ever caught your boyfriend huddled in the corner of the shower, rocking back and forth, hugging his knees while scrubbing at invisible dirt?

Seriously, some guys just prefer to watch. Maybe you should consider a threesome – in my experience that solves all problems.

If your fella isn’t in to being touched himself, maybe you could get another guy or girl to fill in, while he sits in a darkened corner of the room, breathing heavily like a sex pest and visible only by the light of his cigarette.

Bottom line: if you’re not getting any, you should break up with him.

Can you imagine a boyfriend who would put up with a weird ‘don’t touch me’ rule?

He’d be out of there like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride.

» Got a sex or relationship dilemma? Email dearreuben@tntmagazine.com