Q I’ve started seeing a guy who is more experienced than me and I’m worried that I won’t be able to satisfy him. What should I do?
A An old guy I met in a strip club once told me that sex is like enlisting in the army. You shave down, get into basic training and figure out how your equipment works. You get yelled at a lot and it ends with you crying in the shower, battered and alone. He was weird and had a hairy navel but I’ve never forgotten his sage words on that point.
The Mayans believed that every person has their own unique sexual animal totem that embodies and animates carnal energy. It led to some unseemly experimentation, but you need to discover your own sexual totem. Figure out what animal you want to be in the bedroom and connect with it.
When I was in the Yucatan, training with local shamans, I discovered I am a fossa – a muscular, agile tree mongoose native to Madagascar. My sex life hasn’t been the same since.