Valentine’s returns again, like a nasty case of the piles, ready to make the day more uncomfortable.

That is why we are delighted to announce the return of Down With Dating to save you, speeding round the corner like Lewis Hamilton when the taxman is in town.

Seek refuge in our warm, manly and (some might say, overly) hairy arms we turn offer the Bovril and tell you it will OK in the morning.

Join in the legendary Speed Hating where you can spout off about your weird neighbour who never see, but can certainly smell, the security guard at work with the suspicious stains on their uniform, or that no good ex-who really should be first on Little Kim’s rocket list.

You may also be lucky in joining Blind Hate, where your potential beloved might ask, “Were I to wear a Donald Trump mask to bed, what might you do?”. The winners will be whisked to the bar where they can enjoy a cheap, warm larger shady together at our expense.

So join on Valentine’s Day, we cannot guarantee you will find Mr/Mrs/Gender Neutral Right but it’s cheaper than therapy and more fun than crying in to your pillow as you eat Quality Streets, while watching ‘When Harry Met Sally’ for the 50th time.

Screw Netflix and chill, let’s hate!

Need to Know:

14th Feb at The Albany, 240 Great Portland St, London, W1


Tickets Early bird £10 (Plus booking fee) or Tel: 08700 600 100