What can we expect from your show BiPolar?

It’s about feelings and love and pain, so they can expect all that. Is that enough? How much do people want these days?

You talk about Sarah Perkins, who bullied you at school, and her mysterious disappearance …

Shut up about her, I mean – kill one person and now I’m a murderer for life! Jeez. 

Why does the music industry continue to overlook you?

Because they are frightened by my enormous talent.

The thing about music is that some people can’t sing, so when they see I am pretty and can sing they panic.

Also, I beat up the head of Sony, so I think that put a few people off. But he was looking at my tits, so it was fair. 

How do you like to relax?

Pinot grigio, two packets of Marlboro Lights and some dancing boys.

Tim and Sam [from Loretta’s backing band Penis Envy] dance for me in their Y-fronts.

Who invented Y-fronts? The ugliest underpants known to mankind.

Bipolar  Soho Theatre,
W1D 3NE. Mar 12-16. £10+  
Tube | Tott Crt Rd  


Photo: Graeme Copper