RideLondon
When: August 9 & 10
What’s going on: Get on your bike and enjoy eight milesof traffic-free roads from 9am-4pm on Saturday August 9. You (and some 50,000 others) can cycle free of worry, honking horns and scary buses, taking in some of London’smost iconic sights including Buckingham Palace, the Houses of Parliament, St Paul’s Cathedral, the Tower of London and Guildhall. In its second year, Prudential’s RideLondon is building on 2013’s event with more festival zones and activities including ramp parks, pro BMXers, mountain bike tracks, a bling-your-bike stand, bike polo, stunt unicyclists, bike art and a bike bell orchestra. Sunday 10 is aboutshowing your support to the cyclists taking part in theLondon-Surrey races, with the finish line at The Mall.
The mood: Power to the pedal people. Cyclists come out intheir droves on push bikes of all shapes and sizes as well as stilt bicycles, penny farthings, rickshaws and ‘bike bands’. It is a family affair, with healthy food and lots of activities encouraging Londoners to get outside and on their bikes.
What not to say: “This is the perfect opportunity to debut my Lycra onesie.”
Free; central London, see website for route map of road closures.
London Craft Beer Festival
When: August 14-17
What’s going on: Love the smell of beer in the morning? You might want to check in to AA… but before that get yourself down to the London Craft Beer Festival. With 24 local breweries sharing their carefully crafted brews, you are given a glass on entry, which, if you wish, you can use to try every beer on offer, although measures are sample size, bar four 1/3 pints of your favourites. You are also given a programme which tells you the back-story to each brewery. Live music and DJs create the vibe, while local producers cook up special dishes to complement the beer.
The mood: It’s being held in east London, which tells you all you need to know: hipsters, cool music, and independent producers. Held in the shadow of the Bethnal Green gas holder, the industrial location is softened with twinkling fairy lights and lanterns, a canal-side setting and leafy terraces.
What not to say: “Is that beer froth or just your poor excuse for a beard?”
£35; Oval Space, Bethnal Green
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London Craft Beer FestivalWhen: August 14-17What’s going on: Love the smell of beer in the morning?You might want to check in to AA… but before that getyourself down to the London Craft Beer Festival. With 24local breweries sharing their carefully crafted brews, youare given a glass on entry, which, if you wish, you can use totry every beer on offer, although measures are sample size,bar four 1/3 pints of your favourites. You are also given aprogramme which tells you the back-story to each brewery.Live music and DJs create the vibe, while local producers cookup special dishes to complement the beer.The mood: It’s being held in east London, which tells you allyou need to know: hipsters, cool music, and independentproducers. Held in the shadow of the Bethnal Green gasholder, the industrial location is softened with twinkling fairylights and lanterns, a canal-side setting and leafy terraces.What not to say: “Is that beer froth or just your poor excusefor a beard?”£35; Oval Space, Bethnal Green londoncraftbeerfestival.co.uk
London Craft Beer Festival
When: August 14-17
What’s going on: Love the smell of beer in the morning? You might want to check in to AA… but before that get yourself down to the London Craft Beer Festival. With 24 local breweries sharing their carefully crafted brews, you are given a glass on entry, which, if you wish, you can use to try every beer on offer, although measures are sample size, bar four 1/3 pints of your favourites. You are also given aprogramme which tells you the back-story to each brewery. Live music and DJs create the vibe, while local producers cookup special dishes to complement the beer.
The mood: It’s being held in east London, which tells you all you need to know: hipsters, cool music, and independent producers. Held in the shadow of the Bethnal Green gasholder, the industrial location is softened with twinkling fairylights and lanterns, a canal-side setting and leafy terraces.
What not to say: “Is that beer froth or just your poor excuse for a beard?”
£35; Oval Space, Bethnal Green
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South West Four
When: August 23 & 24
What’s going on: SW4 has been bringing in the big guns from electro, trance, house and techno for 10 years now. Combining stalwarts including Sasha, Pete Tong, Above&Beyond and Dedmau5 with new talent such as Bicep, Booka Shade, Kolsch and Omnia, the line-up is stellar. Four stages (one main and three rotating), fairground rides and food and drink stalls will take you from noon until 10.30pm on Saturday and Sunday in a drunken, finger-pointing whirlwind of fun.
The mood: Awesome. Being on Clapham Common, it’s packed with fellow Aussies. Also it’s better if you’re done with/can’t quite handle Glato-esque fests as there’s no camping at the two-day festival, so you can stumble home, sleep, shower and feel refreshed to do it all over again the next day. No baby wipe showers, sweaty tents or stinking Portaloos – hoorah!
What not to say: “I’m getting on your shoulders and I will not get down for the foreseeable future.”
Day tickets £57.50; weekend ticket £110; Clapham Common
Great British Beer Festival
When: August 12-16
What’s going on: More beer! Indeed, those with true beerbelly aspirations will be in their element at The Great British Beer Festival. With more than 900 beers, real ales,ciders and perries on tap, you can sip your way do delicious drunkenness. If you’re keen to learn more there are talks available: sample the gold finalists in bitter, mild, golden ale and more with guidance from award-winning beer writer and author Roger Protz; learn more about cider, Belgian and American-style beers; and even learn to pair beer with chocolate. Mmm, two of our favourite things. With a true British theme running throughout, you can line your stomach with pies, pasties, fish and chips and pickled eggs. Seriously,there’s a whole stand dedicated to them.
The mood: Beer is serious business at this festival and there is a trade atmosphere to proceedings, although it’s more of a boozy business lunch than anything too serious.
What not to say: “Hmm, yes this one has notes of chocolate,coffee and a sweaty undercarriage – I like it!”
Day tickets £10 in advance, £12 on the door; season ticket £26;Olympia Exhibition Centre
South West Four
When: August 23 & 24
What’s going on: SW4 has been bringing in the big guns from electro, trance, house and techno for 10 years now. Combining stalwarts including Sasha, Pete Tong, Above&Beyond and Dedmau5 with new talent such as Bicep, Booka Shade, Kolsch and Omnia, the line-up is stellar. Four stages (one main and three rotating), fairground rides and food and drink stalls will take you from noon until 10.30pm on Saturday and Sunday in a drunken, finger-pointing whirlwind of fun.
The mood: Awesome. Being on Clapham Common, it’s packed with fellow Aussies. Also it’s better if you’re done with/can’t quite handle Glato-esque fests as there’s no camping at the two-day festival, so you can stumble home, sleep, shower and feel refreshed to do it all over again the next day. No baby wipe showers, sweaty tents or stinking Portaloos – hoorah!
What not to say: “I’m getting on your shoulders and I will not get down for the foreseeable future.”
Day tickets £57.50; weekend ticket £110; Clapham Common
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Canary Wharf Jazz Festival
When: August 15-17
What’s going on: Canada Square Park is one of our favourites paces in London: a gorgeously green patch surrounded by glistening glass skyscrapers. Even better, then, when it hosts ajazz festival – and it’s free. Ease yourself into the weekend onFriday night with jazz singer Eska then the Riot Jazz Brass Bandfrom 7-10pm. Sit in the sun on Saturday from 1.30pm to enjoy GoGo Penguin, Zara McFarlane, Hidden Orchestra with Phil Cardwell, and, taking you to 8.15pm, Ciyo Brown’s The Motown Sound with Gwyn Jay Allen and James Morton; Sunday you can hear the sounds of Nostalgia 77, Polar Bear, the Yiddish Twist Orchestra and a finale from the Andy Sheppard Quartet.
The mood: If the sun comes out, you can’t beat a chilled-out day on the grass listening to jazz. It’s what summer weekendsare made for. Take a picnic and enjoy.
What not to say: “Should I bring my glow sticks?”
Free; Canada Square Park, Canary Wharf
Foodies Festival Battersea Park
When: August 15-17
What’s going on: This festival has been making its way through the UK, and if you missed it when it was last in London in May and June, then you definitely need to catch it this month in Battersea Park. From 11am-9pm (8pm Sunday) you can watch top chefs cooking gorgeous dishes every hour on the hour, go for tastings at the beer and cocktails tent, sit down with festival-goers and chefs alike at the banquet tables to eat when the temptation gets too much, and for dessert,make your way to the chocolate, bake, cake and preserves arena. Nom nom nom.
The mood: Like a local farmers’ market on steroids. Interaction is encouraged, with tastings, free samples,challenges (we dare you to go for the chilli eating one!) and community areas like the real ale and cider bar, where you can perch on a hay bale and have a sing-along with the supplied guitar. A day in the country, in the city.
What not to say: “No thanks, I’m not hungry.”
£12 Friday, £15 Sat & Sun, £22 three-day ticket; Battersea Park
Canary Wharf Jazz Festival
When: August 15-17
What’s going on: Canada Square Park is one of our favourites paces in London: a gorgeously green patch surrounded by glistening glass skyscrapers. Even better, then, when it hosts ajazz festival – and it’s free. Ease yourself into the weekend onFriday night with jazz singer Eska then the Riot Jazz Brass Bandfrom 7-10pm. Sit in the sun on Saturday from 1.30pm to enjoy GoGo Penguin, Zara McFarlane, Hidden Orchestra with Phil Cardwell, and, taking you to 8.15pm, Ciyo Brown’s The Motown Sound with Gwyn Jay Allen and James Morton; Sunday you can hear the sounds of Nostalgia 77, Polar Bear, the Yiddish Twist Orchestra and a finale from the Andy Sheppard Quartet.
The mood: If the sun comes out, you can’t beat a chilled-out day on the grass listening to jazz. It’s what summer weekendsare made for. Take a picnic and enjoy.
What not to say: “Should I bring my glow sticks?”
Free; Canada Square Park, Canary Wharf
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Film4 Fright Festival
When: August 21-25
What’s going on: Hailed as the ‘Woodstock of gore’ by director Guillermo del Toro, the Film4 Fright Festival screens all horror films great and small, alongside dark fantasy and thriller flicks.This year it’s moved to the new venue of Vue Cinema, Leicester Square, enabling it to screen more films than ever – up to six a day across three theatres. You can get day tickets to watch back-to-back films, and with Zombeavers (‘Cabin Fever meets American Pie’) and Wolfcop (yep, a crime-fighting werewolf) alongside the Sin City sequel and new horror musical StageFright, who wouldn’t?
The mood: Scary! You will be greeted in the foyer by variousaxe-wielding, masked-up characters, and we advise buying abig bucket of popcorn to hide behind.
What not to say: “Wouldn’t a cinema be the perfect place to goon a killing spree?”
Thu £29, Fri-Sun £58, Mon £49, festival pass £170, individual screening £13; Vue Cinema Leicester Square
Notting Hill Carnival
When: August 24 & 25
What’s going on: Led by the West Indian community, for two days London’s prestigious Notting Hill is swamped with scantily clad dancers in spangly bejewelled bikinis and feathers, steel bands, stages booming out reggae beats, house, R&B and dubstep, and absolutely hoards of people (we’re talking 150,000). In its 48th year, theprocession kicks off at 6am (6am! That’s dedication) and finishes around 10pm. Sunday is family day, while Bank Holiday Monday is rather sensibly for adults only.
The mood: Basically, it’s one big party. An assault onthe senses, there’s noise coming from all directionsand the smell of sizzling jerk chicken served up withrrrrice and peeeeeas (actually kidney beans) in the air,mingled with a certain substance that will make youwant to go back for more munchies. There’s a real community vibe as everyone dances together, many of the residents sit out on their doorsteps, blasting out music and inviting people over to chat and have some food and drink, and people get in the spirit with fancy dress and face paints. Inevitably where crowds and alcohol are involved, there can be trouble, and tragically five people have been killed there in the last 27 years. There is a huge police presence though, and far from putting a downer on the occasion, they areknown to get involved with the fun – just YouTube‘Police dance-off, Notting Hill Carnival’.
What not to say: “Check out my amazing twerk/lunge/shimmy.” *Proceeds to do very un-amazing twerk/lunge/shimmy.
*Free; Notting Hill, check website for travel advice
thelondonnottinghillcarnival.com
Film4 Fright Festival
When: August 21-25
What’s going on: Hailed as the ‘Woodstock of gore’ by director Guillermo del Toro, the Film4 Fright Festival screens all horror films great and small, alongside dark fantasy and thriller flicks.This year it’s moved to the new venue of Vue Cinema, Leicester Square, enabling it to screen more films than ever – up to six a day across three theatres. You can get day tickets to watch back-to-back films, and with Zombeavers (‘Cabin Fever meets American Pie’) and Wolfcop (yep, a crime-fighting werewolf) alongside the Sin City sequel and new horror musical StageFright, who wouldn’t?
The mood: Scary! You will be greeted in the foyer by variousaxe-wielding, masked-up characters, and we advise buying abig bucket of popcorn to hide behind.
What not to say: “Wouldn’t a cinema be the perfect place to goon a killing spree?”
Thu £29, Fri-Sun £58, Mon £49, festival pass £170, individual screening £13; Vue Cinema Leicester Square
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Jabberwocky
When: August 15-16
What’s going on: This new kid on the block is different, and it’s not afraid to show it. London is brilliant for giving a stage to up-and-coming, independent and/or niche acts with a gig on every corner, but the festivals tend to turn their interests to the big guns. Jabberwocky is now giving the lesser-known names a big festival stage to perform on, and it’s sure to bring an intimate but electric atmosphere. Names including Neutral Milk Hotel, James Blake, Darkside, Caribou and, our personal favourite name-wise, Pissed Jeans, will head for this two-day festival which is taking place in the Excel Centre, meaning you won’t get rained on, and they blast the speakers on full volume. Friday, 5pm-11pm, Saturday, noon-11pm.
The mood: As this is the first one, it’s hard to tell, but we reckon it will be a more relaxed vibe with a chance to getup close to these unique and excellent bands. To lure people in, there are also a couple of epic after parties at Shapes in Hackney Wick and The Ace Hotel in Shoreditch, with DJs KodeJ, Fuck Buttons (another great name), Ought Live and DJ Cherrystones playing sets into the night.
What not to say: “I love Perfect Pussy.” (They’re a band.You can love them, just be careful how you phrase it.)
Day pass £38.50, weekend ticket £60; Excel Centre London
Portobello Film Festival
When: August 28-September 14
What’s going on: Founded in 1996 as a “reaction to the moribund state of the British film industry”, the PortobelloFilm Festival is a prestigious event which is known for unearthing major new talents, such as Shane Meadows and Guy Ritchie. It premiers more than 700 films each year, fromshorts to documentaries to art films and animations, eachone vying for the ‘Golden Boot’ award. Giving newcomers the chance for their films to be seen, this year’s festival has been broken down into ‘London’, ‘Rock and Roll’ and ‘World’categories.
The mood: One for true film buffs, the workshops and talks from directors make this an awesome creative environment for those interested in the film industry. Some of the films are a bit weird, yes, but go in with an open mind and you could be among the first to see some soon-to-be globally recognised talents.
What not to say: “Can we watch Die Hard VI?”Free; various west London venues
Jabberwocky
When: August 15-16
What’s going on: This new kid on the block is different, and it’s not afraid to show it. London is brilliant for giving a stage to up-and-coming, independent and/or niche acts with a gig on every corner, but the festivals tend to turn their interests to the big guns. Jabberwocky is now giving the lesser-known names a big festival stage to perform on, and it’s sure to bring an intimate but electric atmosphere. Names including Neutral Milk Hotel, James Blake, Darkside, Caribou and, our personal favourite name-wise, Pissed Jeans, will head for this two-day festival which is taking place in the Excel Centre, meaning you won’t get rained on, and they blast the speakers on full volume. Friday, 5pm-11pm, Saturday, noon-11pm.
The mood: As this is the first one, it’s hard to tell, but we reckon it will be a more relaxed vibe with a chance to getup close to these unique and excellent bands. To lure people in, there are also a couple of epic after parties at Shapes in Hackney Wick and The Ace Hotel in Shoreditch, with DJs KodeJ, Fuck Buttons (another great name), Ought Live and DJ Cherrystones playing sets into the night.
What not to say: “I love Perfect Pussy.” (They’re a band.You can love them, just be careful how you phrase it.)
Day pass £38.50, weekend ticket £60; Excel Centre London
