You’ll be lulled into sheer relaxation – in a faux sea mist with the sounds of music and creaking planks, it feels like you’re peacefully floating over the ocean on a paradise ship while you’re massaged with soft jelly discs. Then BAM, you’re brought back to the modern world with comical Captain Pugwash music and given a cup of tea laced with rum.

123 King’s Road, SW3 4PL 
Tube: Sloane Square