Did we hear you say you’d like a piece of meat on Valentine’s Day? We take it this is not quite what you were talking about.

But if you’re partial to a bit of beef jerky – and edible underwear – this will float your boat – or your lover’s.

Someone has posted instructions online for how to make a pair of Brief Jerky. Ha ha. Geddit? And it’s the beefiest alternative to chocolates on Valentine’s Day, surely.

According to the website, Instructable, the Brief Jerky-making process has three distinct steps: first, season some ground beef and creating your own sheets of soon-to-be pants jerky. The process is pretty simple and allows you to get creative with seasoning. Don’t be too liberal with the hot sauce though. Next, carve up your meat sheets into distinct sections using a briefs template, adjusting some for sizing. Lastly – and this is the genius part – hook it all together with string cheese.

Now, find us a carnivore who won’t want to leap into those meaty smalls.