Kevin Shalin – known to his foodie compatriots as ‘The Mighty Rib’ – was attempting to beat a customer record at a Red Lobster restaurant in Little Rock, Arkansas when he collapsed to the floor.
One of Shalin’s friends and fellow food writer, Daniel Walker, was on hand to witness Shalin’s near fatal attempts at immortality. As he explained to the UK’s Daily Mirror:
“He sat down at the bar while we were waiting on a table and he decided to try one of the biscuits. He thought they were the most wonderful thing he ever placed in his mouth.”
Red Lobster’s signature Cheddar Bay biscuits are complimentary with every meal and available in unlimited quantities. When you consider that each butter filled, cheddary ball weighs in at 150 calories, it’s easy to see why eating them in quantity would have an adverse effect on one’s health.
According to another of The Mighty Rib’s friends, after ripping into quite a few of the biscuits, Shalin was already focused on breaking a record.
“After about 30 I see him over asking the manager what was the record for most biscuits ate. He just came back and said ‘I think I can do 415’, and started really digging in. His beard was covered in crumbs.”
There is no real account of what happened along Shalin’s cheese and butter odyssey between biscuits number 31 and number 412. The Mirror picks up the cholesterol heightening tale again near its terrifying (if not preordained) climax.
Shalin complained to his compatriots of feeling dizzy around the 410 biscuit mark, where his friends begged him to cease his record attempt. But, as with all champions and captains of industry, The Mighty Rib refused to be deterred.
However, no sooner had biscuit number 413 slipped down Shalin’s greasy, butter lined gullet his eyes rolled back in his head and he reportedly collapsed to the floor convulsing.
The Mighty Rib was rushed to a nearby hospital where, according to The Mirror, he subsequently slipped into a coma. Doctors have had to drain “two gallons of butter” from Shalin’s arteries. Doctors have hypothesised that there was so much butter in Shalin’s body at the time of his collapse that it was blocking signals coming from his brain.
Oh, how the Mighty (Rib) have fallen. Don’t worry though, he should be fine. Not sure he’ll ever be able to look at a block of cheddar cheese the same way again, though.