Group A
Portugal
Scouting report: The pretty boys were average in qualifying, but have the world’s in-form player, absolute winker, Ronaldo.
One to watch: If a long season dampens Ronaldo dazzle, keep an eye on Ricardo Quaresma.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, Big Phil could be the first coach to be a World and Euro champion.”
TNT predicts: Semis.
Czech Republic
Scouting report: Topped qualifying group above Germany, but flopped at the World Cup and there’s no Tomas Rosicky-note.
One to watch: Martin Fenin bagged a hat-trick on his Eintract Frankfurt debut.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, last year five players were caught cavorting with prostitutes in the team hotel.”
TNT predicts: Quarters.
Switzerland
Scouting report: Didn’t concede a goal at the World Cup and they have home advantage. If others falter, the Swiss should progress.
One to watch: Captain Philippe Senderos and striker Alexander Frei are the key men.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, Johan Vonlanthen is the youngest player to score at the Championships.”
TNT predicts: Quarters, possibly.
Turkey
Scouting report: Defensively suspect and without a settled line-up, little resemblance to the team that came third at the 2002 World Cup.
One to watch: Middlesbrough’s Tuncay Sanli is their star.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, Coach Fatih ‘The Emperor’ Terim was linked with the Chelsea job”.
TNT predicts: Better luck next time.
Group B
Germany
Scouting report: The favourites will avoid Italy and France till the final. Several key players lack match fitness, but the Germans are the Germans.
One to watch: Captain Michael Ballack is in his best form for a couple of years.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, Germany have won a major title in every decade since the ‘70s and Thorsten Frings used to have a pet racoon.”
TNT predicts: Finalists.
Austria
Scouting report: Below Uzbekistan in the Fifa rankings. Went three-up against the Netherlands recently: they lost 4-3. They’re bad.
One to watch: Andreas Ivanschitz is “the Austrian David Beckham”. So probably speaks like he’s 10.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, thousands of Austrians signed a petition calling for their team’s withdrawal, because they’re so rubbish”.
TNT predicts: The Derby of Euro ‘08.
Croatia
Scouting report: Stylish team, dumped England out (owch) of qualifiers. Best goal hanger Eduardo will be absent, but they still have heaps of quality.
One to watch: Horse startling Luka Modric is the creative hub.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, manager Slaven Bilic insists on the minimum salary and plays in a rock band.”
TNT predicts: Quarters.
Poland
Scouting report: Ex Trinidad & Tobago boss Leo Beenhakker led the Poles to top a qualifying group including Portugal.
One to watch: Euzebiusz Smolarek is their best goal hanger.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, Euzebiusz Smolarek was named after Eusebio, and his dad played for Poland.”
TNT predicts: Group stages.
Group C
Netherlands
Scouting report: The Netherlands have some of Europe’s hottest attacking talent (and Dirk Kuyt). Shaky in qualifying though.
One to watch: Apart from Robin, Robben and Ruud? Rafael van der Vaart is worth watching out for.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, the players persuaded Marco van Basten to adopt a 4-2-3-1 formation.”
TNT predicts: Group stage.
France
Scouting report: Have a squad so gifted neither Gael Clichy or Bacary Sagna could get in (though Samir Nasri and Karim Benzema could).
One to watch: French Player of the Year Benzema is hot right now.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, Raymond Domenech uses astrology to aid team selections and doesn’t like Scorpios (such as Robert Pires).”
TNT predicts: Finalists.
Italy
Scouting report: Roberto Donadoni has made the world champs more attack-minded. Beaten 3-1 by France in qualifying however.
One to watch: Luca Toni scored 39 goals for Bayern Munich last season.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, Italy were in the same qualifying group as France and could meet them yet again in the semis.”
TNT predicts: Semis.
Romania
Scouting report: After three successive play-off defeats, they’re back, with Adrian Mutu on fire.
One to watch: Ex-coke head Mutu has rediscovered his shooting boots.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, Romania took four
points from the Dutch in qualifying.”
TNT predicts: Group stages.
Group D
Sweden
Scouting report: The Swedes will feature the same old faces, including a shock recall for Henrik Larson.
One to watch: About time Zlatan Ibrahimovic turned it on for Sweden.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, Sweden have now qualified for five consecutive international tournaments.”
TNT predicts: Quarters.
Greece
Scouting report: The champs return with the same coach and many of the same players from their shock victory at Portugal ‘04. Won 10 out of 12 qualifiers.
One to watch: Fenis Gekas may have a mullet but knows where the net is.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, German coach Otto Rehhagel still uses an interpreter to speak to his players.”
TNT predicts: Group stage.
Russia
Scouting report: Guus Hiddink’s side fluked in and this isn’t a great team. But they do have Hiddink.
One to watch: Prolific (in Russia, anyway) Roman Oavluchenko scored twice against England.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, Alex Smertin is a John Fowles (The French Lieutenant’s Woman) fanatic and once turned up unannounced at his house.”
TNT predicts: Group stages.
Spain
Scouting report: Lost to “Norn Iron” in qualifiers, but otherwise ace. Even without Raul, they have a mega talented squad and play great football. Will they choke yet again?
One to watch: Fernando Torres falls over and scores goals with equal frequency.
Sound like you know stuff: “Of course, racalist coach Luis Aragones sometimes rants about ‘chicken sexers’.”
TNT predicts: Semis.
