Q. I had a brief, but intense relationship with a girl who has now moved back to Australia. We said we’d keep in touch but we’re drifting apart. Can I do anything or should I move on?

Ruby says: You should move on. When a relationship breaks up, no matter what the circumstances, the party who hooks up with someone else first is the winner. The party still staring out the window at the rain while U2’s With Or Without You plays in the background, wondering if it’s also raining where their lost love is – that party is the loser.

Your little friend has gone back to Australia, where it’s nearly summer. She’ll be flouncing around in her bikini, getting drunk at barbeques and then rolling around in the sand dunes with a different bogan every other Friday night. That’s what I’d be doing.

You need to get back in the saddle. Find a new girl, even if you don’t really like her. You’ll feel better.


Dear Reuben

Reuben says: Modern technology is a wonderful thing – electronic mail and social networking sites make it far easier to re-insert yourself into the lives of women who thought they had moved on and left you behind.

Nothing says devotion like a bi-daily visit to their Facebook page, either to check their relationship status or to comment on every new photo they post. Thank God for lax security settings.

Instead of just writing standard emails, why not offer a grand romantic gesture? Maybe you could compose an epic love poem but only post one rhyming couplet on her wall each day?

Intrigue would build with each new entry and all her friends would bear witness to the depths of your love. Girls can’t get enough of that. It’s like an arms race for them and, like testing a hydrogen bomb, visibility is crucial.

» Got a sex or relationship worry? Email dearreuben@tntmagazine.com