Canberra, the nation’s capital city, is considered a joke of a city to some Australians. Aussies will sometimes suggest the Australian Capital Territory (ACT) is only good for fireworks, hardcore pornography – which are illegal elsewhere in Australia – and a relaxed attitude towards marijuana (it’s not illegal to grow hemp plants). Strange how all those vices are placed within the same borders as the nation’s politicians, isn’t it?
While porn isn’t really my thing so much (more our staff writer’s), despite its reputation, Canberra is clearly home to the good stuff. I sure found plenty of the good stuff there.
Getting up early, we jump on board the bus and after negotiating some traffic we’re on the road to Australia’s capital. The drive takes about three hours but flies by with the Australian landscape moving over the beautiful yet rugged Blue Mountains.
Some early explorers actually expected to find China on the other side, the bush was thick and various attempts had been thwarted early on. Nowadays it’s two lanes either-way with not a Great Wall in sight. A few stunning cliffs, mind.
In Canberra, our first port of call was Mount Ainslie, taking in the 360° view of Canberra and Lake Burley-Griffin – a man-made lake named after Canberra’s planner Mr Walter Burley Griffin. Not too egotistical of him then.
Walt won a design competition with his plan for the city that was built when Sydney or Melbourne couldn’t decide who’d be capital city. It seemed he liked circles ‘cos from up here there seems like a shitload of roundabouts.
We move on to Australia’s National Museum – from pristine old Holdens to the rich interesting history of Aboriginal and Torres Strait cultures, sporting history and the crazy animals, it’s a unique way of learning about this relatively new country. I could have wandered around for hours there.
But alas, we were off to Parliament House. Mounted into a hill, Walt – yeah him again – decided that politicians should be of the people and not above the people, so he shaved off the hill, built the house inside it, and laid the hill back over the top.
You can actually walk up the grassy slope to the peak of the hill, high above the prime minister – what’s more fun though is rolling back down the hill.
The house itself is unique in its design too. As you approach, the red pebbles resemble the soil of the land, while the large white columns on the outside and the entrance are to resemble the classic Australian home, with it’s large verandah, while inside, the green marble columns are to portray the tall eucalypts.
There’s a variety of interesting anecdotes that go with the house. Like this morsel: every public building in Australia requires a green exit sign to direct to fire escapes, the only exception to the rule being the Senate – which are maroon to match the walls and chairs – how did they escape the law? They make the law – kinda like Judge Dread.
Candid Canberra
Australians are keen spectator sport fans – they love an arena. So much so you’re more than welcome to sit in the bleachers of the House of Representatives and the Senate and watch the “pollies” argue over trivial name calling and BS when they are sitting – which is about three weeks of the year, the lazy bastards.
The Australian War Memorial is genuinely fascinating, a great insight into the history of the nation and how war has influenced this island seemingly devoid of neighbours that might want to invade.
Darwin was bombed in the Second World War by the Japanese. Australia has taken part in pretty much every war there’s been – they love a good fight. Inside are rifles, uniforms, tanks, even bloody bombers.
You’re best to go in the afternoon and hang around for the “Last Post” performed by a bugle player with a prayer and a moment’s silent. When we were there, as dusk fell the centre courtyard was full with a lush oranges and purples on the memorial walls that are covered with the names of fallen soldiers.
On our way home we did a tour of all the national embassies, managing to find every group member’s little bit of home. Canada? Sure enough, but discreet. Places like the Thai embassy is far more interesting with a traditional feel to it, the American surprisingly modest.
On leaving Canberra you’re almost guaranteed to see kangaroos. We saw a mob of them grazing in the paddocks – this was of course just a week or two before a massive cull, the roos not being favourites of the farmers.
They claimed there were so many that they’d starve as winter frost set in. So Australia is so proud of its national icon that it’s killing them… that said have you tried kangaroo? Damn tasty, and far healthier than cow.
While Canberra obviously doesn’t have the huge allure of Sydney’s harbour or the Great Barrier Reef it’s indeed worthy of your time; a day trip or a weekend. Don’t forget about the supermarkets of porn and sex toys, the fireworks and the decriminalised marijuana.
You might need to extend your stay.
The damage & the details: day-trips to Canberra from Sydney with Colourful Trips (www.colourfultrips.com) cost from $119