What baffles me about London is the never-ending queue snaking around the corner outside Madame Tussauds. It’s the Eighth Wonder of the World.

When I want to chill out I head to Brompton Cemetery. I’m not a 14-year-old Goth, it’s just a beautiful place to walk through or sit and read in.

The most interesting person I’ve met in London is … too many to mention. If you live in London and haven’t been in an interesting situation with an interesting person, you’re wasting valuable time.

My favourite place for a drink is the Sporting Page in Chelsea. It became my second home and office during a recent messy time in my life. The staff have some major dirt on me, I’m sure. And that’s why I always buy them a drink when I pop in.

For when you’re hungover in London chow down on the half chicken, half rack of ribs with beans and slaw combo meal at The Big Easy on the King’s Road. Wash it down with a cold beer and you’ll feel fresh out of the packet.

What gets me up in the morning? Two alarms set on my phone – the first labelled ‘It’s the Capital Breakfast show’, the second: ‘Get up knob head!’ Then a standard alarm clock. And if they all fail, my lovely cab driver Kenny hammers on the front door. I haven’t needed to trouble him yet. 

My perfect weekend? Friday and Saturday have to be full of new sights, sounds and drinking buddies, and Sunday must be a mixture of Indian food and FIFA. A visit to my three-month-old niece, Alice, serves as food for the soul.

The biggest faux pas I’ve made was when live on MTV, making a small error involving Prince Harry and a member of his family. It was a horrible mix-up.

The last naughty thing I did? I got caught out – through photographic evidence – touching Lisa Snowdon’s bum while we posed for photos on a red carpet. There was a camera behind us. Sneaky so and so’s.

Five words that sum up London … One hell of a town!

Hear Dave Berry on Capital Breakfast 

Photos: Ken McKay