Q. My boyfriend and I agreed to pursue our sexual fantasies this year. He wants to have sex in public but I am uncomfortable with this; should I go along with it anyway?
Ruby says: Absolutely. Don’t be so selfish. Nobody likes a sexual killjoy.
My pet fantasy is a sexy Stockholm Syndrome roleplay – I’m a contestant at a beauty pageant and just as I am about to be presented with my sash, armed gunmen storm the hall and take us all hostage, but I seduce the gang leader to secure our release, break the siege and win first prize.
I won’t even tell you how many guys I had to ditch because they were unable to handle a semi-automatic with sufficient conviction.
When I found a guy who pulled it off, it was so fulfilling and the rest of our relationship benefited.
That said, it eventually ended after he suggested we reverse the roles. In any relationship, there’s only room for one beauty queen.
Reuben says: A Expanding your horizons with a partner can be immensely satisfying but that doesn’t mean you should be pressured into unwanted situations because that just puts an added strain on your relationship.
I once had a girlfriend whose sexual fantasy involved me investing my entire life savings in her brother’s chain of roller-discos, called Hot Wheels, and then not having sex with me.
It was the most expensive wank I ever had and our relationship never recovered. She and her brother were also weirdly close.
On the other hand, though, sex in public is fairly vanilla and there’s not really anything that can go wrong.
I’ve been having sex in public for years – it’s amazing how many really friendly strangers there are near public toilets in parks after dark – and only been arrested three times.
» Got a sex or relationship worry? Email dearreuben@tntmagazine.com
