Q. I’ve started seeing a girl, but she’s quite strait-laced and I like to party. Should I change my ways or is that an exercise in futility?

Ruby says: There’s a Paula Abdul song called Opposites Attract that came out in 1989 and it’s all about a couple who get together despite being different in many ways.

For example, he likes movies and she likes TV; she makes the bed, he steals the covers; she’s got the money and he’s always broke.

It’s weird, because, in the video, Paula Abdul dances around and flirts with a cartoon alleycat. You’d think the species difference would have been a greater obstacle than the relatively trivial lifestyle tics mentioned in
the lyrics. Equally, the subtextual bestiality passed without comment.

Don’t pre-emptively sabotage the relationship. See how it goes.

If a talented popstar like Paula Abdul is happy to date an animated cat, surely you two crazy kids can find a way to make it work.

Dear Reuben

Reuben says: By all means play it by ear but your intuitive reservations about your fundamental differences may prove valid. So often, love is not enough; our natures are destined to tear us apart.

For example, I met a girl at my Harry Potter re-enactment club, where we’d dress up and bring the epic visions of JK Rowling to life.

For many months, I tried to persuade her to join me in brave Gryffindor, but she remained loyal to cunning, self-interested Slytherin.

And then, at the high-point of our year, the re-enactment of the Battle of Hogwarts, she was aligned with the forces of Voldemort – I had no choice but to extinguish her flame with the Avada Kedavra curse.

She didn’t speak to me after that, and after we got stuck into the butterbeers, she was seen shagging a bloke dressed as Draco Malfoy behind the Shrieking Shack.

» Got a sex or relationship worry? Email dearreuben@tntmagazine.com