Q. I’ve been dating a guy who is three inches shorter than me. I like him, but normally go for taller guys. Am I being superficial?
Reuben says: You do short men a disservice. You should perhaps heed the story of Jeffrey Hudson, a famous 18-inch dwarf who served at the court of Queen Henrietta Maria in the 17th century.
Guests would be served a large pie, only for Jeffrey to burst through the crust, wearing a miniature suit of armour and go clanking up and down the table.
Jeffrey fought in the English Civil War, attaining the rank of captain, but his life took a turn when, after a soldier mocked his size, Jeffrey challenged the man to a duel – pistols on horseback. Jeffrey shot the man in the head and was expelled from the court.
Upon leaving, Jeffrey’s ship was hijacked by pirates who sold him into slavery – he spent the next 25 years as a slave in North Africa, before dying and being buried in an unmarked grave. So, yeah, little people are capable too.
Ruby says: In a word, yes. But we live in a superficial world, so you have nothing to apologise for. If you like tall guys, then dump the shortarse and only hook up with tall guys from now on. That’s your problem solved.
During the honeymoon for my third marriage, I realised that I only liked men with tattoos. My husband, unfortunately, had no ink. I gave him a chance to change, to make me happy, but he was unwilling to have my name tattooed on his forehead, so I had no choice but to leave him.
The heart wants what the heart want, and the four days I spent with that heavily tattooed mechanic were some of the happiest of my life.
Your first responsibility is to yourself and your own happiness. So don’t accept shorties who don’t measure up. That’s what feminism is about.