Andrew Symonds knows this is his last chance as an Australian cricketer, stressing he does not want an ugly end to his international career.
The 31-year-old was recalled to the Australian team for Friday night’s exhibition Twenty20 match against an All-Star team in Brisbane.
It will be the all-rounder’s first game at national level since August, when he missed a compulsory team meeting to go fishing in Darwin.
Asked if he was on his last shot, Symonds replied: “I would have thought so – if I make another mistake, it’s not going to be a pretty ending and I realise that.
“I’ve got to be careful, but at the same time I’ve still got to be the player and person (who) plays my best cricket.”
Cricket Australia (CA) said Symonds had been through the “prescribed welfare process” after his infamous fishing trip.
Symonds did not want to go into what that process involved, but said he went through it willingly.
“You probably won’t see a great deal of change because you don’t see me all the time,” he said.
“It’s more what goes on probably off the field and the way I deal with certain situations.
“I’ve been through a confidential process, which none of you (media) will probably find anything out about, but it’s something I’ve done and I’ve drawn a lot out of it.
“I’m happy with where I’m at and believe it or not, I’ve actually enjoyed it as well.”
Symonds has always had a frosty relationship with journalists and he growled “be gentle” at the start of Monday’s media conference.
After several questions about whether he owed Australian team-mates an apology, he testily replied: “you keep going down this apology line, I am regretful for what I did, but at the same time, when people make mistakes … it’s not about making up to people.
“It’s about me getting on with it and doing something positive, I suppose.”
Symonds added he had never lost his desire to play for Australia, but other elements of being in the national team had tested his enthusiasm.
“The thing I looked at was what comes with playing cricket for Australia, being an Australian cricketer,” he said.
“I love the challenge of the game out in the middle, but there are so many other things that you have to do, being an Australian cricketer.
“They were the things I was thinking about – but I’ve made that decision now and I’m prepared to give it my all.”
Symonds is “hopeful” of returning to the Test team, but knows he needs to regain form.
“I haven’t been scoring many runs, have I?,” he said.
“I’ve played on some difficult wickets, though … it’s not through want of trying.”
Australian captain Ricky Ponting, along with pacemen Brett Lee, Mitchell Johnson and Stuart Clark will be rested from the game.
Express fast bowler Shaun Tait was also named in the Australian team, the first step back towards international cricket for the South Australian after he took a break from the sport in January citing stress and exhaustion.
Teams: Australia (from): Michael Clarke (capt), Michael Hussey, Brett Geeves, Brad Haddin, Matthew Hayden, David Hussey, Shaun Marsh, Peter Siddle, Andrew Symonds, Shaun Tait, Shane Watson, Cameron White.
ACA All-Stars (from): Adam Gilchrist (capt), Dan Cullen, Michael Dighton, Brendan Drew, Ryan Harris, Brad Hodge, Simon Katich, Justin Langer, Dan Marsh, Steve Magoffin, Ashley Noffke, Rob Quiney.
