CAROLINE GAUGHAN didn’t expect to end up in hospital after hiring a scooter in Thailand…

Three months of Asia-based fun. Can’t wait! Flash-forward a week into the trip and I was laid on a hospital floor waiting for Danielle to come out of surgery. Something had gone very wrong.

Let me start at the beginning, firstly with Jonny our travel friend. He’s really a plastic mask (think Stephen King’s IT), but our friend all the same.

He goes by the name Clown Pervert, because sometimes he uses his fake eyes to watch people, but that’s a whole different tale.

So myself, Danielle and Jonny are in Thailand having a great time. The idea of renting a scooter on Koh Phangnan gets thrown around but because we are sensible, responsible folk, we decide it’s too dangerous on that island and that renting one on Koh Tao is a much safer option.

So we get to Koh Tao and get renting, but we insist on having helmets, mostly because we thought it was hilarious how sad we looked but also because Jonny wouldn’t ride without protection. It took some finding but they got us our helmets and we were off.

The wind blew in Jonnys red locks and he waved as we drove the streets. Twenty-seven minutes of glorious fun. On the 28th minute the fun stopped. We crashed and were thrown across the pavement, Danielle first, followed by me flying over the top of her and finally Jonnys face, flung to the floor.

Danielle screamed out in pain and Jonny’s empty eyes stared back at her. We became a statistic. One of those many folk who have fallen victim to the scooter curse.

Some locals came out and piled us into a taxi to the clinic where we discovered I had a cut knee, Jonny was a little shaken and Danielle had broken her elbow. 

Just great! In complete shock we were escorted to a private speed boat and taken to the neighbouring island of Koh Samui. I’m sure being thrown around by high waves did her elbow a world of good but this was the only place that had a hospital.

We were met off the speed boat by a doctor who looked around 12.I can quite honestly say we were a little worried at this point, especially because Jonny wasn’t with us.

At the hospital i was forced into a wheelchair (for my cut knee). I advised them they should probably worry about my friend on the stretcher behind me. 

Seconds later, Danielle was being prepped for surgery, by prepped I mean a male nurse was trying to take off her nail varnish without much luck, but with the help of a second nurse she was good to go.

Hours passed and I waited. I wondered how we’d ended up here. Another disaster! She came out of surgery around two in the morning, not looking too healthy.

The next few days just passed in a bit of a blur. When Danielle stopped feeling rubbish we laughed a little about what was happening but not too much. And when she was feeling even better she decided to shower. 

Asking for a razor, the nurse looked confused. Saying razor five times didn’t help so Danielle started to play a little game of charades then nurse said: “Ah, for your beard.” Danielle looked hurt. “Yeah sure, for my beard.”

We left the hospital the next day, and I’ve got to admit the staff were great, if not confusing at some points. With only the blood-stained clothes we had on, a pair of flip flops between us and a giant x-ray, we headed back to the island. 

Only the thought of seeing Jonny again could comfort us. We’ve decided we’re renting an elephant next time.