There are many ways to land that perfect job, from a great CV, to the kind of bald-faced lying that would make Pinocchio blush.
Unfortunately you’re not alone. I’ve often suspected that the reason we have yet to cure cancer is that everyone qualified is fruit picking, or working in a bar, club or café somewhere in the world.
So what tactics can you employ to beat the competition? What skills will you draw on to land that perfect job? Which of the five types of job hunter are you going to be?
1) The Innovator
Realising that positive spin is essential in landing the perfect job, the Innovator is the master of tactical exaggeration. ‘Drank in a pub’ becomes ‘Experience in the bar industry.’ ‘Had a bath’ becomes ‘Some plumbing knowledge.’ They are the one most likely to have exactly the skills an employer needs and least likely to be daunted by having absolutely none of the skills an employer needs.
2) The Pirate.
The Pirate is the master of shock and awe. Every conceivable hiring spot will be boarded and thoroughly pillaged, often time and time again. No tactic is beyond them. Frankly they would put CV’s under the windscreen wipers of parked cars if they thought it would help. They are the most likely to have a printing budget and least likely to successfully straddle the line between ‘keen’ and ‘stalking.’
3) The Lucky Star.
A natural gambler, the lucky star believes that planning and preparation are for wimps. Fortunately they also don’t panic, no matter what the odds and always retain an eerie sense of calm. In fact to the uninitiated they will appear to be doing absolutely nothing whatsoever. They are the most likely to believe in fate and destiny and the least likely to have read this article.
4) The Networker.
With a smile that could make the devil roll over and show his belly, charm is the networkers CV. They will enter a conversation about football and leave with a place to stay and the contacts of every person present. Wherever there are people you will find them, which pretty much means pubs. They are the most likely to buy the drinks and least likely to know what email is.
5) The Sniper.
Like the majestic plains lion, the sniper tracks their prey with cool precision, targeting the role they want and then lying in wait in the metaphoric bushes for as long as it takes to get it. They are the most likely to have done their research, and the least likely to have heard the expression about eggs and one basket.
Whichever one you are the best of luck to you!
