By Alison Grinter
Starring: Matthew McFadyen, Milla Jovovich, Orlando Bloom | 12A | 110mins

Of course – The Three Musketeers in 3D! Why didn’t another film marketing department think of it sooner? Sorry to sound sarcastic, but when it comes to 3D, I’m squarely in the Mark Kermode camp. Like the quiffed movie critic, I think it’s a gimmick, and one that can’t paper over a film’s deficiencies, of which, when it comes to The Three Musketeers, there are many.

Matthew Macfadyen, Luke Evans and Ray Stevenson are dashing enough as the down-and-out soldiers, suddenly united by a new mission to save the French throne from a deceitful double agent and her villainous Svengali. The big problem is the script. It’s just not particularly witty or clever, leaving Milla Jovovich, an actress better in small doses anyway, to over-egg her femme fatale feistiness to an irritating degree. Similarly underwhelming is Logan Lerman as the hotheaded “fourth” musketeer D’Artagnan. He ticks the eye candy box but doesn’t bring much spark to his part. This leaves James Corden to provide some much-needed comic relief as the hapless sidekick Planchet, while Freddie Fox is wonderful as the fey, camp King Louis who shows touching vulnerability in wanting to woo his new queen.

The film’s best scenes, and the ones that make the most of the 3D format, involve a spectacular “dogfight” between two enormous, creaking airships, but alas, it’s not enough to save the film. Troublingly, the final scenes leave the way open for a sequel. Oh dear god, please no!

Good for: Kids (aged 12 and over, natch) who are yet to develop a critical faculty