Wiki, who played over 300 games in the National Rugby League as well as 55 tests for his country is currently the strength and conditioning coach of the New Zealand Warriors, one of two teams he served so faithfully during his playing career.
Wiki was renowned during his career as a big, strong, fast Prop or Centre who was just as capable with ball in hand as he was bruising in defence. During a trial match between his Warriors and the Brisbane Broncos last night in Dunedin, Wiki showed that he has lost none of his ability in the tackling department.
Now it’s worth remembering that Dunedin is a University town, stuck right in the very deep south of New Zealand, and if there’s one thing that students do better than most people it’s drink alcohol. It also means they have a propensity for doing stupid things.
Enter the streaker, who showed more than just a clean pair of heals when he burst out from one of the stands and, egged on by his similarly inebriated alumni, sprinted for the other end of the stadium, attempting to go the length of the field.
It seemed for all the world that he would go end to end unmolested, but then Wiki stepped in. Flying off the Warriors bench, Wiki ran the streaker down like a cheetah does an antelope, smashing the naked man to the ground.
Whether or not Ruben intended to wind up with his face buried in the students’ slightly dewy ballbag and/or perineum is up for debate, but to the former international’s credit he held the man there long enough for security to take over.
It’s hardly surprising though that the second the naked man was out of his charge, Wiki jogged off the ground and down the tunnel, presumably searching for the South Island’s largest bottle of Listerine, or a stupidly big packet of gum.
The second Wiki extracated himself from the student’s twig and berries though, the naked man was up and off again, making a real ball ache of himself for three security guards who eventually ran him down, nearly a full hundred metres from where he had started.
Indeed it was such a graphic incident of hilarious bum and bollock related skulduggery that even Rugby League’s most infamous genital fiddler, John Hopoate was said to be appalled… That he had never thought of doing it himself.
The Warriors ended up winning the match 16-10 though, which is good for Ruben, as I imagine he had a sour enough taste in his mouth already.