Callum Ward was under the influence of booze and cannabis when he set fire to a pack of peanuts in a phone box and then followed this up by trying to score with a parked ambulance.

“It looks as though he is attempting to make love to the front of the ambulance,” a police officer who witnessed the incident said, according to official police logs.

Ward was ultimately found guilty of being drunk and disorderly and possessing cannabis and was given a £60fine and a six month community order.

The length of time his mates will be taking the piss out of him for is reported to be forever.

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