Q. A month ago, I broke up with a girl after three years and I’m taking it pretty hard. We have a lot of mutual friends and we’ve run into each other a few times. How do I deal with this?

Reuben says: You should be grateful that you have mutual friends because it affords you the opportunity to impress her, prove your undying love for her and win her back with a grand romantic gesture.

One time, a girl broke up with me but instead of just accepting it like a wimp, I sent her a dozen roses every day, but snapped all of them in half to symbolise the way my heart had been broken.

I was totally wearing down before she moved apartments and changed her name. We lost touch after that.

Remember that, just because a girl tells you that she doesn’t want to see you or speak to you again, she doesn’t necessarily mean it.

Sometimes you have to persuade women to love you because they generally don’t know what they really want. People might tell you you’re pathetic, but taking no for an answer is for losers.

%TNT Magazine% sex and relationship advice break up like a psycho1

Ruby says: That can be a tough situation. I once had an on-and-off relationship with a guy I met – but I was friends with his wife, so it was pretty awkward when it ended.

You have to be prepared to take the high road when your paths cross – ignore her, pretend she isn’t even there and advertise in a loud voice that you’ve started seeing a hot little Thai girl who is far more adventurous in the sack than your last girlfriend. People will respect that.

Your other option is to ditch your mutual friends.

When I was on the force, I infiltrated a group of environmental activists and had sex with heaps of them. Needless to say, it ended badly and I had to sever all ties. I was thankful for the good times but operational integrity dictated I walk away.

» Got a sex or relationship worry? Email dearreuben@tntmagazine.com