Kieran Oakley
Current home is: In a two-bedroom flat in Annandale, Sydney, with my girlfriend.
Ideal home is: A hippy commune in Byron Bay, where I can grow my own tomatoes and enjoy “open relationships” with free and easy women.
Got a tale to tell? I shared a house in North London with six Brazilians. On Bonfire Night we threw a huge party and people were dancing on the tables and letting off fireworks in the backyard. Things quickly got out of control when a drunken house mate picked up a firecracker and started shooting it at everyone. The flame narrowly missed my arm and I got a scorch mark on my shirt. I went upstairs to my bedroom to change my shirt, but when I opened the door I found a couple going for it, completely naked, on my bed. What followed was one of those awkward moments where I wanted to be angry with them for trespassing in my room, but at the same time, I felt very embarrassed for them so I let them go for it. At least someone got some action that night.
Damian Hall
Current home is: A mate’s sofa in Glebe, Sydney.
Ideal home is: Hobbiton.
Got a tale to tell? During my first year at university (that is, the league-table propping-up University of Derby, UK), I shared a house with a Welshman, a Northern Irishman, a Scot and a lad from Wolverhampton. Sounds like a joke? It was. But the novelty of all night vodka sessions, indoor football, BB gun fights, potato peelings on the kitchen floor for days on end, window breaking, putting dog food in next door’s fridge and urinating out of top floor windows wore off after a couple of weeks. Okay, months. I was the only one to pass my first year (a hedgehog could pass Sociology) and the university changed their policy on all-male houses.
Colin Delaney
Current home is: Surry Hills, Sydney.
Ideal home is: Probably the 40ft school bus I drove around Mexico with a
bunch of mates.
Got a tale to tell? Set the scene: Whistler, Canada. A four-bedder with an average of 15 (one night we had 23) stinky snowboarders crammed into every nook and stairwell. One night our friend Renee complained of a fever, the next she was in a Vancouver Hospital with bacterial meningitis. She slipped into a coma. But she recovered and her boyfriend proposed to her soon after – young love, hey. The funny side of it is that the remaining 14 of us all went on antibiotics that sent our piss fluro orange – I was like the toxic crusader for four days. Gross.
Anne Bakke
Current home is: In a glorified matchbox, Bondi.
Ideal home: A hammock between two palm trees on a Caribbean beach.
Got a tale to tell? As a nomad, my tales are many and useless. However, I’ll provide a Real Estate Dictionary…
Charm of yesterday: Charm of last century without the renovations.
Art Deco: Old.
Leafy outlook: Old trees and untrimmed bushes nearby.
Shared laundry: Watch out for hobos.¬
