The so-called day of love can turn singles into raging bulls that have just seen red…and far too much of it. Is it really necessary for every shop to be shrouded in gaudy hearts and cuddly toys? And who wants to be crammed into a crowded restaurant like sardines anyway?

Nope, not us. In a bid to honour all the single folk and raise the middle finger to the holiday that celebrates love, have provided us with the top 10 anti-Valentine parties in the UK.

1)   Red Single Valentine by the Mansion @ Secret London Location

Raid your wardrobe for ‘that’ drop dead gorgeous red number and purchase your ticket to Red Single Valentine by the Mansion for a dazzling night of banter with other singles. Hosted in a secret Holborn location, the night will have live performances, DJ’s and sassy entertainment. It’s forecasted that 90% of attendees will be single so you don’t have to worry about witnessing those sickly displays of public affection.

2)   Valentine’s Noir : Food Noir Followed by Nude Noir @ Goat Dine

Madame Noir has pulled yet another seductive night from her bag of tricks. Goat Dine – despite its name – is an incredibly sexy venue to dine in. You can nibble on a four course banquet based on touch, smell, taste and sound, in the hope of bringing all your senses to climax. Madame Noir will then perform her own take on 50 Shades of Grey (on the same day of the movie release). The night will be jam-packed with fine dining and pleasure to force you to forget love and just embrace your senses.

3)   Crafty Presents an Immersive Valentine’s Masquerade Ball @ Cecil’s

What could all single men and ladies want more than an Immersive Valentine’s Masquerade Ball? Attend this sophisticated evening and you can hide your identity behind a mask – think of all the fun that streak of mystery could bring! Plenty of mischief is bound to occur on the night so prepare yourself for some surprises.

4)   Anti-Valentine’s Party @ Bounce

Bounce is hosting a Anti-Valentines Party to get rid of all that lovey dovey malarkey and make room for plenty of ping pong, strong cocktails and dancing. Be warned that anyone caught canoodling will be approached by the Bounce bouncers. This is a night that completely shuns love and embraces pure, unadulterated fun.

5)   Anti-Valentine’s Pig-Out! @ Source

Pop down to Anti-Valentine’s Pig Out at Source for the feast of all feasts (but don’t blame us if you’re then too fat to find a partner for next year). Held in a historic room underneath the Thames, the party will serve crispy pig ears and slow cooked shoulder from their ‘Nose to Tail’ menu. A cocktail and three course meal is all provided in the £35 ticket so get yours before they sell out.

6)   Anti Valentine’s Party @ The Old Frizzle

Recently been dumped or never been loved? Either way, come Saturday, carry yourself down to The Old Frizzle for their Anti-Valentine’s Party so you can party your sorrows away. It’ll all kick start at 7pm, but you’ll want to arrive early to get a good seat for watching their burlesque show which starts at 9pm. Entry is free and this place will guarantee you a night to remember, even if your aim is to forget it.

7)   Zebrano Anti-Valentine’s Party @ Zebrano Carnaby

Drown out all thoughts of romance and grab a complimentary Cosmopolitan at Zebrano Carnaby this Saturday. Fired up by free alcohol, you can dance the night away to some huge party anthems. Ladies also have a chance to win a bottle of Cristal champagne! Be prepared for a raucous night that lasts until 3am.

8)   St. Valentine’s Day Mezcal Massacre @ Barrio East

Barrio is a hotspot for a buzzing night, which is why we recommend getting your backsides down there for a night that stares through the smug face of love. They are keeping things simple with complimentary sangria and quality party games. If you can’t make it to Barrio East head down to their sister bars for the same party and equally strong tequila.

9)   Stay Sick: Anti-Valentine’s Ball @ Sticky Mike’s Frog Bar

Infamous for hosting some legendary parties, Sticky Mike’s Frog Bar will be the go-to place in Brighton this Saturday. This quirky little bar will be hosting its Stay Sick: Anti-Valentine’s Ball, which will focus on musical pleasures rather than love. Enjoy indie and rock and roll tunes from the live bands and raise a glass to all the happy singles out there.

10) Love or Lust … Valentine’s @ Proud Cabaret Brighton

Screw love this Valentine’s Day and head to Proud Cabaret Brighton with a bunch of friends. A three course meal while you watch a show that oozes seduction – that’s the way to indulge and really enjoy yourself. There will be an after party and plenty of drinks to keep your antics going until the early hours.