Hey Eddy. What you up to?
I’ve only been up about a half hour mate. We’re off the Yorkshire Dales today. It’s going to marvellous mate, marvellous.
Are you still in your pyjamas then?
No, you’re all right mate, don’t get that horrible vision. I’m fully dressed, don’t worry.
Have you been following the cricket?
Yeah, gaw, Jesus. England have been all over the place. But the press over here are terrible, they’re hammering England, properly hammering them. But we’ll see, we’ll see.
You’ve got an interesting past. You’ve even been in Eastenders…
I used to do a lot of TV extra work. I went bald really young, so I shaved my head – and this was before Right Said Fred – I used to get a lot of fighting scenes. So I was in Eastenders quite a bit, smashing up Frank Butcher’s car lot and stuff. I always played a thug, a gay guy or a Hare Krishna, nothing else.
What were the cast like?
They were all really nice, down to earth people. Though Michelle Collins, who played Cindy, was a proper cow. The rest were great, really funny, especially Mike Read.
You’ve been to Australia before…
Sydney’s great. I’m really looking forward to coming out. It’s such a beautiful place.
And you’re a Luton Town fan, right?
Ooooohahahaha. That was a bit low, haha.
Haha. How will Watford do this year?
Oh terrible. If they stay up it’ll be a good season. But if they go down it’s not the end of the world. You don’t stop going do you. But I prefer Non-League football now. Football’s lost its way. There’s so much money and it’s got a little bit stupid…
Are you going to Non–League games because it’s easier to have a ruckus?
Oh mate, no! That all stopped when I was 24. That’s why I started to write about it,
to highlight what it was like and how easy it is to get involved when you’re a young lad. Thankfully football’s cleaned itself up and I think we played a little part in that.
What made you turn your back on it all?
I was a young man – from about 14 to about 24 – and I just grew up. You realise how stupid it is and what you’re doing with your life. It started to get a bit stupid, with knives and all that. It was mainly growing out of it, but unfortunately a lot of blokes don’t.
You must have been accused of cashing in on the violence at times?
I wasn’t particularly active in it, it’s just I understood how it all worked. [My brother and I] were the first people to write books like that, but we focused on all the other stuff, all the reasons people do go to football; because it’s a laugh. Violence was a small part of those books, but that’s what everybody highlights. It spawned a whole industry.
What do you make of hoolie flicks like Green Street?
They’re all rubbish. They’ve never captured what it’s really like. I don’t think anyone’s really done it. The Firm was the best one.
So how did you go from punching to punchlines?
Well, one is a much better way to live your life and a lot more fun. We were in a pub
and a friend of mine gave me a leaflet for a comedy store, taking the piss. But I tucked it in my pocket, rang them up and went and did it – and bosh! It’s been 10 years now and it’s going great.
What was the first time on stage like?
The first time was great! The second time was the big kick in the nuts, because my mates weren’t there – you go to a little club with like 10 people and no one cares. That’s what made me go “I’ve got to do this again to prove I can”.
What topics do you cover in your act?
The joy of being child free is a big topic. I have a pop at… everything. I do kind of observational filth, that’s kind of my thing. But not too filthy. Observational stuff.
What’s your best ever heckle?
I very rarely get heckled – I don’t know why. But once someone’s phone went and the bloke shouted out, “it’s your mum, she wants to know whether you want peas or beans with your fish fingers?” It was a killer.
Eddy plays Sydney’s Comedy Store from Tuesday 18 – Saturday 29 August. Info and tix at www.comedystore.com.au