Dating app fatigue could be more common than many suspect: a startling 78% of dating app users report feeling burnt out, specifically 79% of Gen Z and 80% of millennials. Men report lower fatigue levels than women (74% vs. 80%). While dating apps alleviate the social anxiety that some people experience when attempting to meet a potential partner in real life, they only postpone inevitable in-person meetings. You have to have a first date eventually to see if you’re compatible and if the person is who they present themselves as.
Taking the quest for romance offline
As of 2025, the oldest millennials are 44 years old, and burnout rates among older millennials are correspondingly higher. Offline connections can be a far more effective way to gauge compatibility when dating after 40 compared to dating sites with carefully curated profiles, fake or misleading photos, and lingering dangers despite the many efforts made to weed out fraudsters and scammers.
In April 2025, a UK court convicted five money launderers of using romance fraud to scam dozens of unsuspecting victims out of more than £3 million. Among the measures the criminals had taken were fake profiles on dating sites. In the UK, over half (54%) of all scams are initiated via online platforms, including dating sites and social media. The organization Action Fraud recorded 8,548 romance fraud cases in 2024, in which victims lost almost £100 million.
The trend shows no sign of declining: data from Barclays’ Scams Bulletin shows a 20% increase in romance fraud scams in the first quarter of 2025.
Popular ways to meet people offline
Middle-aged hopeful romantics are increasingly turning to ways to meet people offline, and promising ones include friend-of-a-friend dinners, alumni groups, and singles events. These are available in many countries.
A simple and effective concept
Hosting a friend-of-a-friend dinner is a popular choice among those who prefer nights in to nights out. It does take some preparation, though. Basically, you’d invite five friends over for dinner and ask each one to bring a single friend whom the others haven’t met. Alternatively, you’d invite three friends, ask each to invite a single friend, and have that person invite a single friend of theirs whom the rest haven’t met. The only fixed requirement is having at least eight people present at the dinner. Any fewer will feel too intimate to mingle and flirt.
Leveraging the power of nostalgia through alumni groups
If you attended your 5- or 10-year high school reunion, you might have been surprised at how much everyone had changed. High-school cliques had disappeared. People were friendly and genuinely interested in what had happened to their former classmates and what they’d gone through. In your 40s, more than 20 years will have passed since high school. Imagine how interesting those in your alumni networks are now, with so much more life experience.
You could attend alumni events, join a committee, or do anything else that might help you meet a potential partner. Nostalgia is a strong connector.
Singles events are cool now
Back in the day, it seemed like only people who were weird, desperate, or both went to singles events. This has changed, with people recommending specific organizations they have used. Thursday, a dating app for meeting in real life, is available for in-person get-togethers in almost 70 cities worldwide. The platform organizes relaxed, pressure-free events without apps or speed dating, which take place at bars that welcome singles.
There are also platforms like We Met IRL in New York and Meet IRL in Chicago. TimeLeft is not exclusively for dating, but it brings people together for Wednesday night dinners across 10 US cities and many more worldwide.
