Q. I really like to party, but my girlfriend doesn’t. When I stay out late drinking, she goes to bed early in
a sulk. Is this a dealbreaker
in a relationship?

A. In my view, there
are few traits more attractive in a woman than
an ability to hold her liquor.

Well, that’s not entirely

I mean she needs to
have powerful arms and
a strong work ethic as well. Because if you ever end up in
a labour camp she’ll be able
to shovel more coal than the other women and that will get you in good with the guards. Perhaps they’ll even put you in charge of the other prisoners.

But back to your girlfriend, if she’s busting your balls about drinking too much, something’s got to give.
I guess you could moderate your partying, but you don’t want your mates to think you’re a soft cock.

You have no option but to sit her down and say, “Don’t try to change me, baby. Take your poison back out into the desert.”

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