If a report by the SBS can be believed, gangs of ‘scissor-wielding’ thieves are stalking the coastal town of Maracaibo – in the country’s northwest – and forcibly cutting off women’s hair to sell on the black market for hair extensions.

I didn’t even know there was a blackmarket for hair extensions…

Apparently the thievery of women’s hair has gotten so bad that many ladies cannot walk the streets for fear of being given an impromptu – if not entirely illicit – haircut.

“You have to see it to believe it. We’re not going to be able to have long hair anymore. As a woman, this is something traumatic,” said one local, Egmari Villarreal.

A good army barber could make a fortune dolling out ‘short back and sides’ crew-cuts to Maracaibo’s fearful womenfolk.

Maracaibo’s local constabulary have confirmed a spike in ‘attacks on women’, with some Venezuelean Sherlock Holmes noticing that the common factor in all the attacks was that the targets had long, luxurious hair.

“The thieves grab them by the hair, pull out some scissors, and cut it. They then sell it at beauty or hair salons.”

It’s elementary, my dear… Watsono (adding an ‘o’ to the end of a word makes it Spanish, right?)

Anywho, despite identifying the growing problem, the Maracaibo PD haven’t really made a definitive decision on how to combat it. Whatever happens, I hope they form a police strikeforce and call it ‘Operation Samson’. 

You can have that one for free, Maracaibo.

The hair thieves have been dubbed piranhas by the locals, as their modus operandi resembles that of the Amazon River’s famous carnivorous fishy.

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