Q. I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months and he wants to go travelling together but I’m not sure if our relationship is ready for that. What should I do?
Reuben says: Nothing tests out a relationship like time together on the road. I once had a girl who I had only known for a few weeks, but we drove halfway across the country and knocked over two-dozen small-town banks as we went. Just me and my sweetheart, the two of us, soldiers of fortune, roaming the badlands, searching for our piece of the American Dream, even if we had to steal it.
With bail bondsmen hot on our tails, we made it across the border and holed up in a little Guadalajara roadhouse. As the bondsman closed in, I left with the loot.
Had we not spent that time together on the road, I’d still be wondering if I did the right thing. But, as that roadhouse started to burn with her inside, I headed out into the Sierra Madres, safe in the knowledge that it’s what she would have wanted.
Ruby says: The key to travelling together is to know each other’s boundaries and give each other plenty of space.
For example, if he wants to go on a stupid walking tour, feel free to say “Thanks for the offer, darling, but I’m going to stay in the hotel bar this aftenoon.”
Equally, travelling together can tease out conflict and exacerbate any faultlines that already exist in your relationship. The mature response is to understand that a successful partnership is all about give and take. So if he hassles you about bringing
too much luggage, withold sex until he realises who’s in charge.
Remember, if it doesn’t work out, time spent abroad will give you a great chance to meet someone else. Single girls have to keep their options open.